Butuan #1

[Jim]

Mitch and I went back to the provinces to see her family this weekend. She’s from Butuan. Thursday evening, she was really excited. Obviously this trip is mostly for her but it is really nice to see her this happy.

It’s a long trip there. We left home at 6AM to catch a bus to Manila. We took a cab to the AP and flew to Butuan where we arrived at 130. At 10AM, when we were still in the bus in Manila, her parents texted her that they were already at the airport. I guess they were as excited as Mitch.

They are living in a house which is falling apart and I am going to help them move to Zamboanga and build a house on land Mitch helped them buy. I see poverty and suffering every day. Beggars are everywhere. I certainly can’t solve all the problems in the Philippines but this will be my major work in helping others.

My biggest concern is that we create a situation where I can oversee them enough to know that they are spending my money carefully. It’s certainly not a question of honest, just that they’ve never had anywhere near this kind of money, I’m going to be sending them a little money each week and they’ll need to tell me how they plan to use it, before, and how they used it, afterwards. I feel really good about this. They are nice people. And since Mitch will be doing the communications, this will be a good lesson for her in how to manage money.

We had a nice meal with them at a local Chinese restaurant. While we were waiting for the restaurant to open, we ordered kilewin, a really delicious fish marianade with ginger, onions, jalapinos, and other spices. I’ve seen it made with pork also. Well is was well flavored but I told Mitch I thought the fish was a little tough. She told me it was goat, not fish. Next time I ask and make sure it’s the kiliwin is made with FISH.

On Saturday morning we switched from Hotel Karaga at $33 a night to Almont Inland Resort for $58. It’s a nice resort with a great swimming pool and we’ll take her family there Sunday. We then went out and bought gifts from her brothers and sisters, Ricardo Jr, 14, Edden, 12 and Lemuel, 10. The only one I remember is Edden. In February, she’s the only one who could hold Jessamae without her crying (including Mitch). Jessamae cried when I even looked at her but she was calling Edden mama, I know they hardly have anything so this should be nice.

[Jim]

Saturday we went to visit Mitch’s family. They live about 18 km and a 30 minute trip north of Butuan In the country. The location of their house is it’s nicest feature, on a small hill above the highway which is not heavily traveled,

It is a 400 sq. ft. wooden house (bamboo) set on stilts. The mail room is about 300 sq. ft and there are two 50 sq ft bed rooms. There are no appliances except a radio, no plumbing. They do have a table and a sink area as well as a cooking area (using wood). It’s a little nicer actually than it was in February. I think Mitch may have sent them a little more money when she was working but apparently getting a steady amount weekly has allowed them to slowly make a few improvements.

Her oldest brother, Ricardo Junior, 14 is in 5th grade (abt 3 years behind). Edden 12 and simply adorable is in 4th (2 yrs behind) and Lemual, 10 is in 1st (3 years behind). Two points. I can’t solve all the problems of the world, Hell, I can’t even solve all the problems of Mitch’s family. I will build the house in Zambaonga and then I will give them money to start a sari-sari store, They buy their stock at grocery stores several times a week (and always check out in front of me and make me wait). Then I will not send them any more money as they’ll be able to earn at least $30 a week and more this way.

#2 I can’t send the children to school and I won’t move them to Subic with me but I am going to require the parents to send them to school EVERY DAY. Tomorrow I will deliver a small lecture to them, kids and parents, and tell them that I will require their attendance records in March. My point will be…”I am supporting you, This is your job as parents”. In late November her parents will go to Zamboagna to begin the house and kids will stay in Butuan to finish school (late March) and be supervised by Mitch’s 22 year-old sister and her husband.

Grace who is our nanny gets some special consideration. I took care of some dental work and I will let her go back to HS next June. She’s been great to me and my family and I feel this is the least that a decent human being would do. I’m not ready to make that commitment to the rest of the kids but with rice on the table THEY NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL. There is no reason they all can’t complete HS if their parents and they consider this important.

I hope to be able to post a photo of the kids and the house when I get home.

[Sailover]

You've got a good heart amigo Jim. I hope the family doesn't believe you are their white knight and stand at the portal waiting for more gold to fall out of your ass! Simple people often have no real concept of where money comes from or how much is a lot and you will seem like D.Trump to them. Just like here, money is something that the moment is gotten, is spent. I suppose because there is no future plan, and if you keep money around, someone will take it from you and you will have nothing, so why not buy a new LCD for the hut? (even though the walls won't even hold it.) (don't laugh, I have seen that very thing. Almost killed the baby when it came crashing down when the coat hook in the plaster wall didn't hold) (and they all wanted to blame the tv company even though the back of the tv was perfect and there was a gaping hole in the sub par wall)

[Sailover]

Oh dear. This won't go well.

[sws]

Thanks for the post Jim. We look forward to seeing the pics and how everything ultimately works out.

[Sailover]

Ignore the last. It was in reference to posts that were eliminated this morning.

[Jim]

Apparently I missed some drama when I was sleeping.

Sail is completely right about the potential problems. I am certain they will not waste my money or treat me like a money tree. They will need help managing every stage of the operation and I need Mitch to understand my concerns and help me. Sometimes she confuses my caution for lack of trust which it isn't.

[Jim]

Sunday the family met us at the mall to purchase swim suits and then we went swimming at Almont inland Resort. It was the first time for any of them in a swimming pool. The three siblings, papa and Mitch;s baby nicce loved it. Especially the water slide.

The we ate a buffet which for the seven of us cost what they spend in three weeks on all their expenses. This is one of the unavoidable ambiguous situation, I was glad to spend the money on a one time great experience since we only see them twice a year. But it's hard for them to look at this the same way I do. They think I;m loaded which I'm not.

We then had a chat about the importance of school and I told Ricardo Junior, Edden and Lemual that they better attend school every day and get promoted in March. And I bought them each two new school uniforms. It's the first time any of them have had a new uniform and their smiles were incredible.

They're great people. I don't have any concern that they will treat me like an ATM but I am concerned that they spend the money for the house wisely. Letting the money trickle and not flow freely plus requiring confimation with Mitch twice weekly should help keep them focused and on target.

[Sailover]

That is the great conundrum. They are most certainly great people, but you have spent more money in front of them in two days than they see in months. So of course they think you are loaded. (which you are, in comparison, by the way). What they don't understand is that the only way you CAN be generous like that is because you watch your expenses carefully. That is something COlombians do not understand at all. You can buy your girl's family dinner and dancing which they all love of course. But balk at a $200 bottle of scotch for the 'cousins' that just showed up, and suddenly you are cheap. There is no winning that one. If your girl stands with you, good. But if she is bulge hunting, she will side with her family. Sign the check and get out, your lesson was expensive, but over.

[Cap'n Jib]

“That is something Colombians do not understand at all. You can buy your girl's family dinner and dancing which they all love of course. But balk at a $200 bottle of scotch for the 'cousins' that just showed up, and suddenly you are cheap.” – Sailover

For the new guys, this is a real eye opener. Here I have to speak from observations and stories from other gringos. It appears to happen so often that, when it doesn’t happen, one should question the source.

It has never happened to me …..so now I am questioning me!