The One that got away!

[AltoHombre]

In a good realationship, which we all hope they are when they start, you exposes parts of yourself. You talk about the inner parts that you don't share with everyone. Not even a sister or brother. Pillow talk is different.

So I can understand why it would be uncomfortable to know that an ex is now sharing that information with someone I know...

I'm with Angie on this, too many fish in the sea to put yourself in a bad situation with one person.


Tony

[TheFamousWingMan]

if a man tells me he loves me and 30 days after he's dating my best friend....... I'd say he has shown his true colors.” – Angie

I don't recall in any of my post saying that I loved Sue. I described her as
a person whom I could grow to love. I knew Sue for two months before she got engaged. I saw Sue every weekend except one. Now, that's only 21 (plus or minus) days spent physically with her. I really, really liked her, but I wouldn't call it love.

Anyways, this situation is dead. Sue's friend came by this evening and
I explained to her that this will go no further. There's an expression here
in BAQ..."Pueblo pequeno, Inferno grande!" "Little town, Big hell!" People thrive off gossip here. I don't want Sue's friend to feel any remorse or back-lash from Sue's family and mutual friends. Also, I wouldn't want to hurt Sue. For the most part, sometimes all some of these girls have here is their family and friends.

I know that Sue's friend will be looked at as "la perra" who went out with the ex. Even if her intentions were true, it will still be the same. It hit me last night when my best friend called. She asked if I had plans. I told her I was going out with Sue's friend tonight. She said....oh "la perra!" She has never meet Sue's friend..hmmm? Now, I don't care what people call or say to me. Just make sure you get my name correct when you're saying it.....lol, but I do care about nice people and they are very sweet women.

There are toooooooo many single women here to date other than one's ex. Besides, If it didn't work between the friend and I. She would have lost me and probably her best friend. To me, their friendship has more value. I know I'm being controdictive from what I posted before, but that the beauty of having an opinion........you can always change it! What's the point of remembering past experiences if you didn't learn or grow from them?

"I am the man I am today because of dicissions yesterday. I will be the man I'm tomorrow because of dicissions today!"
WM

[Maxsweet]

Wow. sounds like the damage is already done.

Originally Posted by TheFamousWingMan

if a man tells me he loves me and 30 days after he's dating my best friend....... I'd say he has shown his true colors.” – Angie

I don't recall in any of my post saying that I loved Sue. I described her as
a person whom I could grow to love. I knew Sue for two months before she got engaged. I saw Sue every weekend except one. Now, that's only 21 (plus or minus) days spent physically with her. I really, really liked her, but I wouldn't call it love.

Anyways, this situation is dead. Sue's friend came by this evening and
I explained to her that this will go no further. There's an expression here
in BAQ..."Pueblo pequeno, Inferno grande!" "Little town, Big hell!" People thrive off gossip here. I don't want Sue's friend to feel any remorse or back-lash from Sue's family and mutual friends. Also, I wouldn't want to hurt Sue. For the most part, sometimes all some of these girls have here is their family and friends.

I know that Sue's friend will be looked at as "la perra" who went out with the ex. Even if her intentions were true, it will still be the same. It hit me last night when my best friend called. She asked if I had plans. I told her I was going out with Sue's friend tonight. She said....oh "la perra!" She has never meet Sue's friend..hmmm? Now, I don't care what people call or say to me. Just make sure you get my name correct when you're saying it.....lol, but I do care about nice people and they are very sweet women.

There are toooooooo many single women here to date other than one's ex. Besides, If it didn't work between the friend and I. She would have lost me and probably her best friend. To me, their friendship has more value. I know I'm being controdictive from what I posted before, but that the beauty of having an opinion........you can always change it! What's the point of remembering past experiences if you didn't learn or grow from them?

"I am the man I am today because of dicissions yesterday. I will be the man I'm tomorrow because of dicissions today!"
WM

Hello WM.

What you mentioned in your last post is one of the many reasons why a friend's ex is off limits. Sue's friend might not have been a bad woman but she sure put herself in a tough situation, without the need to, and you ended up feeling pressured by the fact she was gonna have to take a lot of heat for you. So at the end, the relaxing, slow 0 pressure relationship turned into a time bomb. Now she will probably still have a tough and awkward time with her friend and her family, unfortunatetly here those kind of things are hard to let go. It's not only in Barranquilla, it's just our cultural standards specially now that young girls are not as sumissive, naive or pure hearted as before (not refering to sue or her friend just in general). It maybe diffucult to understand the relevance until you see it and live it, and I guess your bestfriend's comment kinda did that for you.
I'm sure you're a good guy and will find someone you deserve and viceversa, without having to put yourself or the other person through unnecesary drama that may end up hurting you both in the long run.

Like my grandma use to say: ( no es suficiente ser inocente sino tambien hay que parecerlo)

My best whishes
Angie

Hi everyone. I am new here and this is one of the first posts that I have read. Though this one is months old, I felt compelled to post a response.

I believe that everyone who was giving an answer overlooked one very important point: THEY WERE NEVER BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND! Remember, he was supposed to be taking her on a trip to "officially" declare that they were exclusive; forgetting the fact that he was cooking her meals, rubbing her feet, etc., doing all the things that you do for someone that you are courting (boyfriend/girlfriend). But according to him, he had to offricially declare it. If that is the case, then how can you breakup with someone you never "officially" committed to? If you've never committed, then you can't be an ex...correct?

She was unstable as water anyway. Reading the story, he sounded to me like a classic rebound. Once the boyfriend came calling up, she was gone in an instant. That in itself proves that he was a rebound. If she really cared for him as much as he says that she claimed, she would not have gotten on that plane...period--let alone accept an engagement proposal! She threw up so many red flags that I thought I was reading about an NFL game. Basically, this story reinforces why you should never jump into a relationship with anyone too fast. She eventually showed him her true colors and what her character was really about. She actually did him a favor. I don't know that I would have called this thread "the one who got away". I would have call it "how I escaped."