A short story by The Author

The Handler

There are many Handlers eagerly waiting to meet your acquaintance. It's an amazing experience when dealing with these fine gentlemen, low on morals yet socially intelligent and highly charismatic. If you're paying attention, these guys will have you laughing without restraint. The casualness these characters will display in the most unusual and absurd situations is astounding.

They actually earn their money by putting on a show. Americans do love a show, whether it's politics, television, theater, or drama around the office. We do enjoy entertainment in all that we do, and The Handlers certainly deliver. Similar to many other professions such as lawyers, crooked preachers, advertising executives, politicians, and salesmen. This group and The Handler all entertain their clientele while gaining their business or support. All the meanwhile over-billing, oppressing, or flat out robbing them whenever possible.

Cajoling the weak and neglected, or people under great duress to take the actions they want is what they do. It takes a special combination of traits to execute this successfully. Nobody is looking to spend time with someone who is dull in both wit and charm. The Handler is extremely beguiling. Don't be fooled, he's always closing. He blurrs the client's vision with humor, the allure of women and captivating stories. This kind of entertainment is actually reasonably priced and offers fair value.

Even if you can see his game a mile away, you will still choose to give him a call, that's how good he is. In this respect it's similar to advertising. Drinking that soda just can't be that exciting and I have yet to have a bunch a fine women jump around me when I open one up. You know it's not only false advertising, it's beyond ridiculous. We still fall for it and make our purchasing decisions based on it. It moves cars off the lot, sells newspapers and persuades us to purchase one specific brand over another.

One of my all time favorites is Julio. Julio speaks some English, and was a waiter by profession both in Cali, Colombia and the states. He was and still is in the customer service field. He attends to your needs and preys on your weaknesses of course, but it's all in the delivery. "In all matters of importance, presentation is essential. In all matters of unimportance, presentation is essential" (Oscar Wilde).

Julio and I agree to meet at a famous chicken place on 6th avenue called Pollo a la Brasa. Julio understands the importance of punctuality and we arrive at approximately the same time. I'm seated when I spot him across the street, headed in my direction. There he is, the top Handler himself, live and in the flesh.

Although he has one of the lowest professions he is superbly dressed for a person who resides in a third world country. He is the only person on sixth avenue with a collared shirt and matching tie. His mannerisms are that of a gentleman. I greet him upon entering and all the waitresses faces change as well as their opinion of me. We shake hands and exchange pleasantries. Our conversation switches between English and Spanish as neither of us are perfectly fluent.

The first one arrives. She is a little older than perhaps I'm willing to go, but she does seem very friendly and in high spirits. I offer her lunch and we begin relations. As we're chatting, two more arrive. These two are a different breed. They are extremely hardened and seem to have issues far beyond a normal person. They seem quite irked at even being here, so I relieve them of their distress. "You can tell them to leave. They don't even need to sit," I say firmly yet quietly, feeling bad about such a rude comment. Even though it cost them 8,500 pesos to get here, Julio tries to tell me it costs 20,000 to get back. Obviously this nonsense is dismissed immediately.

When dealing with any Handler you have to expect this as it's part of the job description. I don't take offense. It's not the first time, nor will it be the last. These are the basics. You have to do your part to keep the hidden fees to a minimum. This is not a game for those with short fuses and worse yet, no street smarts. He's going to get you, that's just the cost of doing business.

The next one arrives and has a gorgeous face with beautiful Colombian features. The two ladies say hi as cordially as possible in such a competitive situation. As for the client, it is a most envious situation. Here are some ladies that look good even by Colomian standards. In fact, if the second one lived in New York City, she wouldn't even talk to me. Instead, she's sitting there anxiously awaiting my decision, hoping to be lucky enough to be selected.

Julio has delivered once again. Like him or not, if you spend enough time with him, go through enough ladies and can take the embarrassment of it all, he produces.

-Diedrich Knickerbocker

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{This is my presentation of The Handler. It´s a short version of a short story I was recently encouraged to post by The Two Gringos. I'll be contributing writings exclusively on GRINGOTALK. I´ve been traveling to South America for about six years and have been to more than ten cities. In total I´ve been on South American soil about a year and a half.}

I want to personally thank you for taking the time to read The Handler. I hope you enjoyed it.

[LastLion]

Eloquently wrote; thanks for the insight into the "handler" , or what I think is a wingman. I am very interested in this expeience as I have never really heard of anyone using these wingman, although I have heard of them.

I´d like to take this opportunity to welcome our newest Gringotalk member.... The Author!

[Texas Cowboy]

Welcome aboard and post away!!!!!!!

[willi22]

Author... I am curious, is the Handler fictional or does he really exist. I know a Julio in Cali and I was wondering if they are one in the same.

[Boca Boy]

Diedrich, it is a pleasure to read your story.

Please tell us more when you have the time.

BB

Thanks for the responses gentlemen, it is truly appreciated. I will be posting new stories as I was implored to do for as long as it is welcomed.

The Handler is a true character here in Cali and the story is based on one of many encounters I´ve had with him. Julio was a fictitious name I used for the story.

[roupple]

hhmmmmmmm. is Julio, Walter??