Bringing Son to U.S.

[moneyskills]

This is a question for Mr. Bala or anyone with recent experience.

What are my fiancee's options with regards to bringing her 3yr old son back to U.S. with us immediately after the interview? What needs to be done with regards to the father (paperwork, etc)? My fiancee's son is approved in the K1 petition. My fiancee has legal custody and her son lives with her, but stays with the father's mother during the day. The father works during the day but lives with his mother, so he is involved in the child's life.

The lawyer in Colombia suggested that she should come here and get established as we continue to support the child financially, who will be living with my fiancees mother. Then should the father still not be willing to let the child come here to live (or at least spend the summers)she could take it to court (hacer una demanda). The grandmother (on the father's side) has said that once my fiancee is here and all is going well, she would talk to the childs father and try to persuade him to let the child live in on country during the school months (hopefully with us) and visit the other country during the summers. But that wouldn't be possible until she is allowed to leave the U.S. freely, which I hear is @ 2-3 years....

We want the child to continue living with his mother (my fiancee). The father is not willing to let the child come here out of spite b/c he is sour that their relationship didn't work and for that reason doesn't want to see her prosper. This is our only snag. We have the child named in the K1 peticion, we have his passport ready, we are doing his medical exams and vaccinations -- everything to show that we had the intention to bring him with us from day one. We will even send money every month to support him. We don't want it to look like she abandoned him, we want to show that the father is uncooperative. What type of father DOESN'T want a child to see his mother if she is a good mother?

Can you help me understand:
-- WHAT ARE THE LEGAL REQUIREMENTS FOR THE CHILD TO LIVE WITH US IN THE STATES

--WHAT OPTIONS / CHANCES DO WE HAVE IN THE COURT SYSTEM THERE

--IF THE CHILD CAN'T COME IMMEDIATELY, WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO TO GET HIM HERE IN THE FUTURE

Thanks for your help.

[Lostagain]

money, you have a big problem that you are going to have to solve by getting the cooperation of the father. Unless he is arrested for trying to kill the kid, you don't have much of a chance getting the Colombian courts mandate that you can take the child out of the country. Remember, just as there is xenophobia here in the US it is alive and well in Colombia too. You are a foreigner who wants to steal a child from his father and now you are conspiring with the child's mother. You won't get a very sympathetic hearing from a Colombian court. They strongly support protecting both parents' custodial rights so you have an uphill battle to fight.

Your best hope is probably to convince the father that it is in the child's best interest to come here and to assure him that you will see that the child will spend significant time in Colombia to maintain a relationship with his father. If you can convince the father to agree to a shared international custodial relationship, then you only have to deal with the complications offered by the DAS. The most difficult of which is the time requirement for the signing of the notarized permission to leave the country. It has to be with in three days of the departure and must be signed by both parents. You have to plan around dias festivos so that you don't run into the problem of finding an open notario's office.

Until the child is 18, there isn't much you can do, absent the cooperation of the father.

For others, if you get involved with a woman with a child, look for a "natural" child, i.e. no listed father in the Registro Civil or a woman with a child whose father has a valdid death certificate. Otherwise, plan on dealing with the father.

[roupple]

I have to admit, if i was the father and wanted to beinvolved with my child, I would not want the child to leave the coutnry either. I would always be afraid I would not see the child again. If I wa sher, I would also be afraid to leave the child behind, always wondering if I would see my child again. You are are in rough situation, unless the father agrees to sign papers I think you are up a creek, without a paddle. I be checking with an INS lawyer or call the INS and see what they have to say. I wish all of you the best of luck and hope all works out for the best of everyone.

[Mitchell]

Originally posted by lostagain:
look for a "natural" child, i.e. no listed father in the Registro Civil

You gotta love those immaculate conceptions! Just don't let her try to convince you she's still a virgin!

[moneyskills]

Well, we are working on things and are definitely planning to spend time in Colombia in the future. For that reason, we are working hard to have a successful business that will provide plenty of passive income to allow us the luxury of travel, BUT -- as for now -- we are working to keep up a good relationship with that side of the family to ease the father's concerns and show him that it is in the best interest of the child to maintain a relationship with BOTH parents....

Once she is able to leave the U.S. (@ 2-3 years?), I believe that we will have full cooperation, and at the minimum, she'll take 2-3 trips per year. But the most important thing is to get to a point where the child can spend school months in one country and summer months in the other. She is getting sadder as the interview date draws near, but we are happy that we are getting it pushed back from April to June.

I'll keep you updated!

[Cubafro]

BRO,
I have only one question: did you ever meet or talk with the father?
Do you think that he agree fro your relationship with his son's mother?
As LA said you have to deal with the father but just an advice bro, don't let him play with your nerves; that can be a good situation for him,maybe, to get some advantages from you....You never know with people.
I imagine you have to show a good face too to the gran'ma cause she can be very helpfull too...
Good luck bro...

[Lostagain]

Hey, what's good enough for Joseph of Nazareth is good enough for me.

In all seriousness, you have to work out something with the father so that you have some basic agreement. Every time we return from Colombia, we worry that we are not going to get the permissions to leave completed and it is always a last second thing. That three day rule for the notarized permission is a big problem. Also, don't forget, Colombian minors don't leave Colombia legally without the notarized permission of both parents within 3 days of the departure, notarized copies of the parents' cedulas (on the same page as the permission), and a freshly notarized copy of the child's registro civil.

[Clay]

It sounds like some lazy colombian deadbeat fathers get free cedulas.

Originally posted by clay:
It sounds like some lazy colombian deadbeat fathers get free cedulas.

WTF??? and what about the deadbeat American fathers with free Social Security cards, or get Drivers licenses and State ID's???

Pretty Stupid-Ass remark!