Anserma/cartago

[TBOND]

Hello Gents... just returned from Anserma last week Thursday I had a short but great trip.. Thanks for all the well wishes I really appreciate it.

This trip was my last spot check as it will with my lady.. Basically I wanted to make absolutely sure of a few things before proceeding with the wedding in November... I have a trust problem, it takes me a while before I actually can drop my guard fully and trust you totally...

This approach has served me well in the past and has helped me route out the evil seeds on more than one occasion, but this trait can be hard to shut it off and if you cant control it, you can very easily loose that one lady you should have trusted..

That’s said, this trip confirmed for me that my lady is someone who I want in my life, .. If I am wrong about her then I am willing to pay the price but I did my home work.. And I will leave the rest to god

I must say that the third time is the charm... She and i have become even closer... out side of the bed room she is not very demonstrative with her feelings so at times its hard for me to gauge her, ohh she holds hands, hugs and all of that, but she is not very vocal.. Over the past year I learned much about her personality and why she was so guarded with me. In a way we are very much alike and then in some ways we are exact opposites... this makes for a dynamic relationship... throw in passion and it equals never boring.

The one thing I like about the relationship (and I know this is going to sound weird) is that I like the way we dealwith our differecnes . If we get annoyed with one another for one reason or another we resolve it relatively quickly and move on... to me this is very important... of course I prefer not to argue or have any differences, but we all know they are going to happen.. I want to know exactly how my lady acts under negative circumstances because if I can deal with her bad side its all gravy from there because I know I can deal with her sunny side...


We had a very good conversation about marriage, expectations, and the future, and I explained to her it will not be easy making the transition to NY from Colombia...

I also asked G if I could bring her to the States with out getting married would she prefer it. So she asked me why I am changing my mind I said no just curious… I know things are hard in Colombia and it’s normal to want to have a better life for you and your son...
She told me she was happy in Colombia and that to be perfectly honest she does not like English she prefers to go to Spain or another country... and when we first met her goal was to buy a home in Cali and find a good job there..
It was after this conversation that I was more or less done with my assessment of her... I felt confident she was leaving her county for a better life yes, but the key was a better life with me.



The wedding ceremony/ reception is going to take place in her house. We have been renovating the house in preparation for this event for the last month.... She has family coming in from all over Colombia and she has one very large family... Of course my GTALK fam is invited but I am not sure I can get you all in =) Though I am not someone who likes to ..I will post photos


My Son T o be:

Her son and I have really connected and I am very happy about it. When he greeted me at the airport he ran in to my arms and man that felt great... He even listens to me now which am very important. He will not go to bed at night unless I go to bed and if I am in another room he calls me until I arrive... so we can all watch movies... Once in the bed I am his pillow... early on he was always up under neath his mother but no more...now...he is like my shadow... its a pretty cool feeling. I learned that he is still dealing with the death of the Father as is the mother, and he mentions his father quite a bit.

The DAD:

Pops and I have connected from day one but now... we are really tight. Every time I enter his club he brings me all the beer I can drink or makes me food from time to time.
One day in his club we were talking about his business and His daughter, and I made a comment that his daughter appeared to be content and he stopped me short and said she is not content, she is happy... very very happy with you and she told him this..

He also added he was very pleased with how I treat his daughter and grandson and those we are like family...

On my last day in Anserma I prepared Lunch for her sister, sisters kids, G and brother...I asked the father if he wanted to have lunch, and he dropped by the house and had one of his sons bring about twelve beers to take with me on my trip back home.. It was a really heart felt gesture because he is very private man and does not really socialize with outsiders, and according to my lady I am the first man she has (including her sons father) who he has been close to..


The Bad Cousin:

Back in my first post, I mention G had a cousin that was like my chaperon /slash assistant while I was in Anserma during my first trip. I never really spot lighted him before because I try to keep some things private but he earned the spot light now... so I need to make mention of him.

On my first trip it was evident that this guy saw me as an opportunity for quick cash...
And I played the game for a while until I got fed up and then the word no started coming from my mouth. Latin Lion: this one is for you!
Let me give you an example to the bad cousin’s actions:
On my first trip to Anserma last November, I bought shoes for all the kids in G’s family... they are very poor and it was something I wanted to do... they were so happy and greatful you should see how they treat me when I visit them, i am embarrassed by all the attention. Anyway, some of these children were the brothers and sisters of the Bad cousin,

He felt that he should be included in the mix. So he asked me at that time to buy a pair of sneakers for him... I said yes because I had the money and sneakers were relatively cheap... add to the fact that he was always with me I siad no problem.. Thing is he did not want $50 pairs of sneakers my good man was looking at $100.00 pair of Pumas!

I told him No... I said there are plenty of sneakers that are much cheaper so he picked something else but with an attitude… I had to explain to him I just bought sneakers for all the family I am not buying you $100 pair of sneakers your not my lady we are friends and in reality we are not even friends you should appreciate anything some one gives you.

Incident #2

One day He tells me he has not seen his son in many months and he is so depressed that he does not have the money for the bus to go see him (the boy lives in another town with his mother.) He said he wanted to buy the boy a gift... like a shirt or something... can he have 80,000 pessos for the trip, and if i wanted I can come along so I can meet his son..
He is 21 years old in case you’re wondering.

I told him no that’s ok... I am leaving in a day and I don’t feel like taking a five hour bus trip... here is the money I hope everytihg goes well... The next afternoon I see him in the town... I asked him did he see his son and he said yes, of course I know better... He never went to see his son and pocketed the cash. I just filed it away mentally. I found out later he drank the money away and spent it on women.



Finally, when I was ready to leave Anmserma. He asked me to finance a business venture with him... He wanted to open a Cell phone business where you sell minutes; he was going to use the lobby of his grandmother’s house to set up a little stand... I thought it was a good idea based on where the home is located... and I told him look in to all the costs, and let me know...

When he came back with cell phone prices they were way out of Whack... and I knew right there he was no good.. He acts like he is my friend but this guy thinks he smarter than me and is always looking for an angle to get over. If I had to describe him I would say he was a pilot fish always with me to see what he could get.

I gave him a song and dance that I will give him the money once I return to the States (NOT!!!)...this was last November; I would have been crazy to send him a post card much less cash... I hate people trying to get over on me especially if I treat them well... once you do that to me that’s it... The curve with this guy is that although he does not have much he lives much better than his brothers and sisters who live with his mother... they are dirt poor...

He lives with his grand mother from his fathers side and they have a little money... the house where he lives is very nice… and he has two aunts who are professors in France who look out for him..


Incident #3 The Present: (Incident #1 & 2 took place last November)

The Bad cousin met me at the Airport with G but I could tell he was a little stand offish with me... that night me him and G’s brother drank Brandy (that I bought of course) and had a good time talking ….

The next morning he stops by and we go out to get some coffee because G had none in the house... we go to a bread shop in town and sit down to have some pan and coffee... while we are sitting down I ask him whats wrong he is acting a little strange ..
So at first he says it’s nothing it’s just that he just lost his girl.

Then he follows that by calling me a liar. Now it’s early, I had not had my coffee yet, and I am not a morning person to begin with... So I asked him to please repeat what he just said to me... and he did… now I am up...

I looked slowly around at all the people in the streets and in the shop and I said ok... I am going to get killed today but not before I whip his ass... I was so heated I wanted to pull him across the table and clean the shop with him...

Some how I was able to control my self and he could see I was angry so he said let him explain...and he went on to say how I promised to help him with the cell phone business and never did...

I told him My responsibilities are to G and her son and no one else... #2 I told him I help becaseue I want to help, not because any one pressures me or tries to obligate me, so then he says that he has shame becausse the last time I gave him money he used it for other purposes and I told him I know You did. He was actually surprised I had him figured out. I told him if there is a liar sitting at the table it’s not me... and not to ever call me that again. I then ask him why you don’t ask you aunt in France for the money... his response was Ohh the family is very large and she has many people to look after... So I said i see,.. you don’t want to molest your aunt because you are concerned about her and her responsibilities but me you have absolutely no problem molesting... because .. We are not friends and all you see me as is someone you can extract money from... at ths point he apologizes...

He then goes on to tell me how he told G that I have many women...
And that I am going to change if she leaves with me in NY... He is telling me this to my face folks...

So I had to ask him why you would think after all I have done for G and her Son and family that I am not sincere... His response was he saw me with two women on a video… and assumed I was a womanizer... I said those were friends on Chiva bus ride two years ago... way before I was seriously involved with G... and at that time I was looking for a wife and yes I know women... but I am no womanizer. Why would I travel to Anserma where it’s not the safest place for me to be if I was a womanizer...? IF I was no good I already know G (biblical sense) why would I come back... Why would I do all the things I have done. Helping her and her son? Use your head... finally he agreed....

I have come to learn that this guy is jealous and he clearly does not want G to leave, she looks out for him and if she is gone he will feel it...he basically told me in so many words. I can’t treat him the way I would normally treat a person like this (Cut him off completely) because He is close to G... but he is on the list... I will stay away from him.

On my next to last day he asked me when I was leaving and I told him he then told me he found work in a nearby Town for three days and if I could help him with the fare, said he needed 35,000 I told him no. He was like no ….and I said that is correct No...

He left, never said good bye or anything... the next day I am with G’s brother and I told him that Favre was going to another town to get work and he replied no he is going to visit family... lie # 785 if any one is counting... I always try to give the benefit of the doubt but this guy is simply no good and I actually have to watch him when I am in Anserma...



The Brother: G has a few brothers but one of her brothers and I have really bonded... but he can be slightly off center at times... One day we were going to to the buthcher to buy some meat for the house when he asked me if I want buy a beer... and i said ok, i thought were were going to buy a few beers at the store...instead he takes me in to a Cantina in town... Now I already stand out, but the way I was dressed that afternoon exaggerated things, as we enter at about 12 in the afternoon. This place is packed with locals full of women at least 30...

It did not take me long to realize I was in a house of opportunity but surprisingly not a dive... I played it off like I belonged even though every pair of eyes in the place were on me, I could feel the heat vision.. the only thing i was waiting for was for the music to come to a dead stop.. I sat down at the bar... and the brother and I started to chat... as I am sitting down a really cute blond comes over says something to him and he asks me if I wanted to see her, her hand is on my lap, doe eyes and all.. Satan is evil...

But I am not stupid, I told him no I could not do that… he said its ok if you want to and I told him, I would be disrespecting his sister and him if I did.. No thanks. so we finished the beer and left.. I don’t know if that was some sort of test or what, but I really don’t know what he was thinking taking me to a place like that... later he tells me many of these clubs in town are mafia owned... thanks for the update.


Danger: While I was in Anserma two murders took place..

In incident one, two young kids 23 and 25 who are in the drug trade ( friends) got in to an argument while drunk.. one called the other a punta and one of them pulled a gun and shot him in the eye.. killing him. This happened about two doors way from my ladies aunts house and they witnessed it.

Incident #2 was politically related, two rival people running for office in town got in to a dispute and one shot and killed the other. Two weeks prior, my lady was telling me a young girl was shot and killed .. this aint new york circa 1976.. the murder rate is very high for such a small town..

A year ago my lady was telling me how tranquil Anserma was but now things are getting very violent, she does not go out she goes to her home her dads home and her aunts home.. and that’s it.. Though I still dont feel threatened, I understand its like the wild west over there at times.. where things can break off at any moment..


All in all I had a great trip... and inspite of the bad cousin, the Cantina temptation, and the murders.. i enjoyed myself.. God spare my life the next report will be about the wedding...

TB

[Lostagain]

Very interesting report, Tinto. I wish you well with what sounds like the woman who will end up being your wife. Another Gringo may be tying the knot and going out of circulation. We need to have a convention of Gringos married to Colombianas. We can all claim bragging rights.

Watch out for the cousin. He sounds like bad news. But that always occurs in extended families. It is what it is.

[BIG E]

The big day to say "Si, Acepto"

My stomach is already in a knot for ya!

[LastLion]

TBOND, Thanks man for sharing the story of the cousin. I can feel you pain around that one. I have been in that situation. Usually I might give a little at first, but **** does it feel like **** when they continue to ask..

Whatever jealousy he has about you taking his prima, is just that! What really eeerks me is that guys like that don't know that there bull**** is what really holdss them back !

Anyways Thanks for sharing that it is great fo me the newbies to know and watch out for hanging on types !!!!!!

Again I wish you the best with this gal, feels like their might still be hope for old LL here!

[TheBatmanDude]

TB that was great, thanks for sharing your saga. Man, talk about drama, and you got it all down perfectly. I had a good laugh about the cafe scene when he called you a liar, sounded like something out of a Norman Mailer book. I salute you for pushing thru all the drama to marry a nice girl. Best of luck to you and your lady.

[Micky10]

TB -

Thank you for taking the time to post yet another very good TR. All very interesting and educational. I wish you, your novia and your son nothing but the best of fortune, love and that you are all washed in blessings. And if you have given LL hope, you have REALLY done something.

Love - Micky

[TBOND]

Thanks Gents…

Lost Again a convention would be nice…and your right the cousin is on my watch list...

Azeljet thanks... I am not afraid yet but that will probably change as the weeks move closer...

Last lion & Batman Dude Thanks for the well wishes... LL I am sure you will find what you are looking for bro keep hope alive! Bat I think you hit it on the nose... she is a nice girl…. That was the one constant with her...

Micky10

Thanks for the blessings… just the other night I was thinking about the scope of everything how I met my lady, the wedding my new family to be… and I said to myself wow I feel blessed its almost surreal.. And if you add to the fact that I may have given LL hope… then its icing on the cake =)

[Cap'n Jib]

TBOND,

Don’t know how I missed your initial post but I did.

There is SO much information in your trip report, I can not thank you enough for sharing.

The Bad Cousin episodes should be an eye opener for rookies and veterans alike. Obviously someone who is used to playing upon another persons feelings. Your apparent ‘need’ to fit in with the family. It is possible that G feels a maternal need to protect this looser. You Sir, played your cards like a master!

The brother episode could probably be looked at in at least two ways. Like you said the brother COULD have been checking you out. Because of comments from G and others about how …sorry….NICE….you were, you were too good to be true. An off shoot could be ‘hey you are family now and let’s go celebrate, like many Latinos do, with a hooker or semipro’. This is only my guess and I would like to get Lostagain’s view on this part. :detective:

[TBOND]

Cap I agree with your assessment I think it was more let’s celebrate your one of us now because over there it’s just so common... no big deal. But for me it would be wrong... so I opted out... Not worth risking my lady over.

As far a the cousin yes you are dead on... he was trying to take advantage... i gave him quite a bit of money in small increments and everytime I spent money on myself I spent money on him.. .. It started to add up and he had no intentions of slowing down his requests... so I had to put an end to it. G is like a mother to many in her family and she looks out for him...

[Cubafro]

Originally Posted by TBOND

Azeljet thanks... I am not afraid yet but that will probably change as the weeks move closer...

TIC TAC TIC TAC,
Time is flying bro, sure don't feel it yet?? All the best for you bro and your new family

CUBA