cartagena trip report part 3

(continued) At this point I'm feeling anxious, nervous, excited, happy, everything you can imagine. I'm running through my head all possible scenarios, things we'll talk about, how the men of the family were going to receive me, table manners and etiquette, what to wear. Any other place and this wouldn't have been an issue but cartagena is hot and humid, you just can't wear undershirts, long sleeves, a tie and forget a jacket unless you know you're going to be in an air conditioned place, but even then getting to that place you'll sweat your butt off. But, luck seemed to be on my side because occasionally, the nights in the coast are very pleasant, little humidity with a nice cooling breeze. So I get dressed, slacks, a button down shirt, dress shoes, look in the mirror and think something is missing, a tie. I go back and forth with this, should I, shouldn't I, will I be to hot and uncomfortable. The weather that night is on my side, I know the tie improves my look considerably and I figure, I'm meeting the family, what the hell, I put it on. Now is when I get crazy, I had brought a really nice blue blazer, not a heavy one but a light summer one, should I wear it? I put it on, look in the mirror, I kicked major butt, I was looking real good, how can I not show up like this. But I was also thinking, this might be too much, overkill, well I decided to wear it, at least until I got there and met everyone, then if it got too unbearable I could always take it off. I leave, with wine, aguardiente and gifts in hand. I got everyone a little something, nothing expensive, but things that would say thank you for the invite and everthing. For the dad I got a yankee tshirt because he likes baseball, the mom I got perfume, grandmothers a gift set from the body shop which included lotion, moisturizer and a picture frame, the brothers I got NYC tshirts, and for CG perfume. I leave a little early, knowing that she lives far from where I am plus I expected to hit rush hour traffic. I was right, the traffic getting there was heavy but I get there right on time, so far so good. I had seen her house before when I had dropped her off but I didn't really notice how big it was until that night, it is big. A single level, ranch type place in a nice, quite neighborhood. I get out, ring the bell and she answers, she looked amazing, and she said I looked great, we gave each other a hug and kiss on the cheek and she invited me in. Well, one after the other, her family came out to greet me, "bien venido, buenas noches, mucho gusto, como estas?" to everyone, 'welcome, good evening, a pleasure, how are you?' The father was very warm, kind and made me feel right at home, he took away any anxiety I had about meeting them. They took my wine, they said, " gracias por el detalle" "thank you for the gesture" and asked me if I wanted to take my jacket off, I said yes and they all laughed. Things are starting off good. Then the father suggests that we all sit outside in the patio in front of the house, so we all go out, sit down and start talking. He offers me a beer, I accept. CG excuses herself to help out with dinner, so I'm left with her dad, grandmothers, 2 brothers and 2 dogs, French poodles.
Something that I should point out that important here is that my Spanish skills are very strong, I understand and speak it almost perfectly, without an accent. If on a scale of 1-10, 10 being a native Colombian, I rank my command of Spanish at 8.5 pushing 9. Very rarely will I have to ask CG what she said, usually it's a word or two that I'm not used to, and rarely will I have trouble saying what I want to say. It's taken a few years to get to this level, but for anyone that is seriously interested in finding a colombiana to marry, this is a must, you've got to learn her language just as you expect her to learn English. Smiles, hugs and kisses are nice in the beginning but for a woman that is really serious about this, someone who isn't looking for just a visa and a way over here, it'll get old for her if she feels she cannot communicate with you. It's frustrating for both when you feel your partner doesn't understand you, imagine her telling you something important or intimate only to have her see a blank stare on your face, not good. Invest the time and money to learn, take a class, buy tapes, videos, computer programs, watch univision, telemundo, rcn and caracol if you have cable, watch the colmbian soaps, it'll all help, but you have got to want to, not feel like you have to. As Americans we want things quick and easy, we want to take a pill for everything because we're to lazy to do the work needed, to invest the time required. Learning Spanish, finding a great colombiana will take time and money, anyone who isn't prepared to do this should step aside until they are ready to do so. Ok, enough of my preaching.

So I'm talking it up with the family, one by one they ask about me, my family, life in the states, how I like cartagena, what I've done and where CG and I have been. Her grandmother(fathers mother) lives in the US, is a citizen and is with them until the end of the year. CG has aunts and uncles in the US, so we swap stories about the big apple. Her dad has also visited the US and one of her brothers lived here for 5 years. He can travel back and forth because his visa allows it. Her mother at one point brought out the gift I had sent her months before for Christmas, a picture frame with multiple windows, she put a picture of all of her children in it, she loved it. Her dad tell me about his life in the Colombian navy, how he loves cartagena. We talk some more until CG tells us dinner is served. We all go into the dining room, mom and dad are at the heads of the table, CG and I on one side, the brothers on the other, the grandmothers stay outside and eat later.

Something I should mention is that throught my time with CG, I had been a total gentleman with regards to opening doors, pulling and pushing her seat when we sit at a table, getting up when she leaves and returns from making a phone call, letting her get out of elevators before I do, things like that, let me tell you that Colombian women LOVE that. You are not dealing with American women, colombianas expect their men to be caballeros, galan, to take the lead and be the man.

The dinner looks great, the table set perfectly, it's obvious that they took the time to set this up and I'm glad that I was dressed well, even though I was the only one with a tie, it didn't matter, I did it out of respect for myself, CG and her family. We started with a salad, it had a bit of fruit in it. Then her dad opened the red wine I had brought, I brought one red and one white because I didn't know what they would be serving. Get into the habit of toasting at every occasion and saying a few words, this is not only nice but will go over very big with everyone, more on that later. Her dad toasted, welcoming me to their home, telling me that I'm always welcomed there, he killed me with his kindness. We all ate meat with patacones and arroz con coco, all delicious. You'll notice that the arroz con coco(rice) is served like a little mound, looks like they put it in a mold or a cup, pack it down then tuen it upside down to serve, very typical everywhere. Her dad told me that everyone in the family knows how to cook and cook well, even the boys. They then asked if I could cook, I told them a little, but not as good as the meal they prepared but that I wanted to learn, which is the truth but I've been to lazy to do so. he said not to worry that like everything else, if I want to, with a little practice I could learn, it's not difficult at all, what a cool guy. We talked some more, ate some more, then went back out to the patio. This time it was the brothers turn to ask questions, this was a bit more difficult with the older brother, he was obviously trying to figure out who this guy was who was interested in his sister. He was not rude at all, he was very nice, funny but I could sense that he was being more careful and not as willing to let me in as quickly as the rest, no problem, I expected it and knew I could charm his pants off. To be continued
steve

Vader, we've come a long way. Thanks for
touching report.
The best of success with your novia.
Take care & welcome back to Ground Zero, Santa

[tranquilizar]

I've been lurking but not posting lately because although I have visited other countries, I have not visited Colombia in over a year and consider my in-country information dated.

I have been busy with the ladies that visit Miami though. Your comment about manners such as opening doors et cetera, is right on. I was out to salsa last night with a lady from Cartagena and she commented how different I was from the Americans that she met in her country,..., I danced and I opened doors. She also was impressed because I was active with my daughters although they live with their mother. Her opinion of AM was that work and money were their main interests. A wife was just another possession. She also mentioned that my eyes stayed on her when a 10+ woman walks by. I laughed and said that was harder to learn than Spanish, but if she is not with me, I will look. I also have spent time socializing with her extended family and friends in Miami and that has allowed us to see each other in other environments. Needless to say, she is reassessing her opinion of AM.

Guys, if you want to win the woman and her family over, the simple courtesies that are mentioned in this thread are important. When the times get tough, the mother, sisters and friends will remind her that she has a "good man".