First Time Trip to Cali

[PEPE_USMC]

Guys, I am new here and am looking for some advice. I am sure some of you could help. I am 33 and left the marines a while back after a long time in Iraq. I have been to Bolivia and Peru. I lived in Peru for 15 months, got married, but divorced in 2008 and need an escape. I speak some Spanish, enough to live without hearing and speaking English, a level 5-6 on the Berlitz scale. I made an aquaintance with a Paisa living in Cali about 4 months ago. It wasn't something planned, but she caught my interest. Long story short, she caught my interest so much that I decided to go to Cali, to see her face to face. Unfortunately, after 4 months of talking and chatting, she claimed I was just to fantastical for her with dreams she would never see realized. Poor finish to a great start, but I am now stuck with a ticket and hotel reservation to Cali and the Cali Plaza.

I am a geographer and anthropologist, so from an educational perspective, this is great and I can start writing a thesis on Colombian culture. Anyway, after being single for a while, I am ready to get back on the playing field and even find something serious if the chance presents itself. I am no monger, but I love latin women. I have looked locally and most are nice but were born here and don't consider themselves real latinas. Not to mention, I currently reside in Ohio and the pool isn't that available around here. I have been to Lima, Cusco, and La Paz. I was curious if you are a young and athletic guy that can speak the language, does Cali have the gringo wow factor that Lima and Cusco have? Or, is it like La Paz, where gringos are kind of looked at as thieves in the night. Or, does it play no role in the thoughts of women.

I only ask because I look for much information on Cali and the women and only get a limited amount of information. I am not looking for a one night stand, but if something connects, GTG. I am not worried about the danger, I assume everything I learned in the military while in S. America and the Middle East would carry over and keep me safe.

I also have other questions:
Are there safe places to run in the city?
Where are the gyms?
Can I sign up for sals classes?
Are the Archaeological ruins safe to go to during the day?
How are the museums?
Where are some good night spots?
Where are some good day spots to run into the local women?

Guys, sorry if I am posting something that goes against your forum ideals, but I am just trying to get some answers before I leave in the middle of March.

[Whitey]

I don't know anything about Cali except what I've read, otherwise I'd take a shot at answering some of your questions. I'm sure some of the other guys will be along later to help you out.

For now, I'll just say welcome to the board!

Whitey

[PEPE_USMC]

Thanks Whitey!

[rivardco]

Happy to answer your questions ..

Gringo WOW factor - It is more and less than that. The WOW factor that applies to you also applies to SUCCESSFUL Colombianos too. But there is certainly an additional mystic with being a Gringo. It gives you another leg up. Suffice to say, you will hardly have a dating ceiling in Cali. But, don't expect to create sincere relationships in the short run. Honesty is different in Colombia than in the USA.

Are there safe places to run in the city?
During the days in most barrios 5 - 6 strata - no problem. BUT, if you run in the wrong place, you will not run far Be careful, and do not expect the best. The tough little boys - teenagers - can be very dangerous ( a knife and gun in the hands of one that will use it in a blink of an eye). Night time? I did it But, again, be careful.

Where are the gyms?
All over the place. Body Tech is expensive, but worth it if you speak Spanish. There are many pretty girls to meet there - several locations. Plus there are cheap gyms everywhere. I belonged to a club on Avenida Sexta. It was perfect.
Can I sign up for sals classes?
No need. Girls live to dance on the weekends. Women rarely go out at night by themselves. So, if you just meet women and ask them to Menga - that is where all the clubs are, you can take her and her girl friends out easily. It is like Disney to a single guy. (do not establish eye contact with women at clubs with other men - muy peligroso).

Are the Archaeological ruins safe to go to during the day?
Good question! Doubt it is abundantly safe, but I would like to learn more about this.

How are the museums?
Good in Bogota. Not so much in Cali. I never heard of a museum. Only the Zoo

Where are some good night spots? Depends what you are into. Lolas; Mango Bieche. My favorite spot - hands down - was a late night place called ELIPTICA ( it is tucked away on a hill in behind all the big clubs in Menga. It does not start until 2 AM and goes until dawn.

Where are some good day spots to run into the local women? The malls and the universities. Run an ad in the paper for a female teacher / guide. I have many friends that can help, just give me a PM. A good place to get oriented is Blues Brothers in Santa Monica. James is a gringo that owns the place and is an excellent source of info.

Have fun

[PEPE_USMC]

Rivardco,
Thanks. You answered what I wanted to know, except the museums. Overall, it sounds alot like Lima only better weather. Thanks for the info guys. It is definately helpful.

[PEPE_USMC]

ALCON,
I wanted to wish you all a great big Thank You! I am officially three weeks and seven hours until take off. (you can probably read the excitement between the lines.) Anyway, some have been kind enough to inquire on a more personal note about plans and all. Thanks a lot. I have a place to stay, with some friends. Anyway, just in case I really upset my friends, I have a back up plan. So, I have to survive about two more weeks of snow and cold weather. Anyway, you all have a good Spring and I'll keep in touch because I'll be back in Cali in November depending on this trip. Or heading to Bogota, Medellin or Cusco.

[John Wayne]

Pepe, I think you will do just fine, in reading your posts.....

I think you got the right attitude....

[AltoHombre]

If you want to hang out in a place where you'll find plenty of interesting women to chat up, don't forget the Chipechape mall. It's a bit up scale and there are a lot of Gringos who hang out there, so you'll find women who are hunting, but then again.. so are you, no?

Be respectful, be smart. I've traveled around a bit, liked it. I'll give the Zoo a big plus vote, but if you've done time at Pendleton and spent time at the San Diego Zoo, keep your expectations in check.

Listen to that inner voice, keep yourself aware of your surroundings. Treat it like traveling in some of the worse sections of LA or NYC and know that you're always at disadvantage culturally in evaluating your situation. If I did it at 50, you can make it happen at 33. Then again, no one saw me as much of a threat cause I'm a doughy over 40 pasty skinned engineer. You Sir, are a Marine. ;-)

[PEPE_USMC]

I want to thank all who helped out with the information on my trip. Sorry for not contacting you guys, but I literally just lost track of time. My friends, both American and Latin, were a huge help there, but your advise really helped in pushing me in certain directions. So, here is a small trip report.

I arrived on a Saturday, later than expected, and then waited for about an hour in customs due to the incoming flight from Miami. However, a nice middle aged lady talked to me for the last 2 hours of the flight and very kindly told me how "Seco" the US is. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant considering I was taking the translation literally. It was later explained that it meant non-open or non-expressive. She also pointed out all the nice things that make Colombia great. The food, people, and history.

I was met at the airport by friends of friends. I had to look for my name on paper becuase they didn't tell me to expect friends of friends until I got to Miami. Anyway, my friends were preparing things at their temp place for when the do business in Cali and just got caught up and asked their neighbor friends to meet me there. I was impressed at one of the meeting party members. I realized that I had talked to her on chat and via phone before and it felt a little more comfortable than complete strangers. After a small cash exchange, we were on our way.

We arrived at my friends place at about 1000 at night. It was only a short ride from the airport to the city. The farms between Cali and Palmira reminded me of farm life as a kid. The older lady that accompanied the group had a difficult accent to understand and talked so fast it was difficult to understand. However, the younger lady spoke so clear it was like listening to English. So, she became my translator of Spanish to Spanish when I was talking to other Calenos.

My first night out was wierd. After an hour of aguardiente and a beer, we went to La Sexta. It was the same area where Studio 54 was at. So, we went hopping. Only the younger girl came along and we headed out. I was warned that Colombia isn't like Peru, so be careful with your women. I didn't think much on that night and danced what I could with whom I could. It was fun and we got home between 3-4 in the morning.

I went swimming on Sunday around noon. It was hot, but it felt nice to be in a warm place. The kids were kind of annoying and a group of hoodlums ran over my glasses while playing soccer. No biggie, the were easily fixed. At the pool, I completely forgot how crazy latinas are about taking pictures. I would usually chuckle to myself when I saw what a camera could bring out in women.

I didn't do much on Sunday night and said my final good byes to my friends. The introduced me a plethora of people to have a good trip. Some women and a few guys incase I had girl troubles. I unfortunately didn't see them until the Sunday when I left. I stayed with their neighbor for most of the time there. This was good because it afforded me the chance to spend more time with the airport pickup girl or Veronica.

Sunday night, Veronica and I went to see a movie. She asked about what I liked in a woman. I explained to her and she graciously listened to my silly banter and laughed at my poorly executed Spanish jokes. After walking around at Chipe Chape for a while, we got a coffee and sat and watched some of the local flare. I was interested as well as grossed out at some of the plastic surgeries. I also noticed that Colombia is on the verge of a slight obesity issue also. Not knocking big people, just an observation. I guess that is why some people advised me that Calenas are kind of earthy. Now I know what he meant.

During the day, I would walk around at La Sexta or the mall at Colima. I basically would meet Vero for lunch and then go about my day until she got off of work. She was easy going and made me laugh. If I wasn't following her around, chatting up some of the other women at the places I was walking around at, I would spend it with the other lady that met me at the airport. She was in her 50s, but after 5 days I began to understand her thick accent. She was a wealth of knowledge about why women seek men from the north. Unfortunately, she created an atmosphere of untrust at times. This was because I became more self-conscience that I was a gringo and I would be treated to the two extremes; a threat to the men and a possible meal ticket to the women.

I stopped looking for other women after Friday. Sorry, but the women were just a little too big for me. I like lean, petite, but with shape. Strangely, Vero had all of these things, so I concentrated my attention on her. She ultimately told me that she had feelings for me and wanted to know if I was interested in pursuing something with her. I told her that it wasn't a bad idea, but we needed to move slowly to not make any stupid mistakes.

She and a few others took me out dancing on Saturday at Sugar Cane Park. After learning Salsa and other dances during the week from the older lady, I thought I should be able to try out my new skills. So, I went along. I kept asking Vero to dance and seemed to get shot down each time. During certain songs she said yes, a total of two dances for the night. However, I would ask her to dance and she would say no. Then get up and start dancing by herself. Then, a plethora of Colombianos would come and ask her to dance, one guy in particular, and she said yes. I am not a jealous man, but I know when I am not needed. So, I collected my goods and paid the bill at the table and went to the exit.

I decided I was going to head back to La Sexta, more or less alone. Vero chased me down and told me how dangerous it was at this place at night for a lone gringo. I explained to her that I usually don't dance, but after putting in alot of effort to learn her culture to share with her it was like a slap in the face. She explained that everybody dances with everybody and it wasn't a big deal. She said it didn't change how she felt about me. I explained, I wasn't there to attack her culture, but IF I asked her to dance and she said no, why stick around? So, I only danced with the older ladies in our group for the rest of the night. When asked if I wanted to dance by Vero, I just shrugged it off and said I wasn't good enough to dance with her. Needless to say, we didn't talk for the rest of the night.

I was convinced to stay so that I could at least pick up my luggage and go to a hotel if I wanted to. You probably could have cut the tension with a knife. On the way back, the taxi broke down and we had to get another. I stayed quiet and rode up front. I wasn't upset anymore, but realized, this wasn't like anything I have ever seen before. I learned not all latin cultures/women are the same.

The following morning around 0700, after not sleeping, I went for a run to get the alcohol out of my system. I went to the area around Chipe Chape to sweat a little. It was alot cooler there around 0800 in the morning and it was refreshing to be alone for a few hours. On my way back, I stopped by a coffee shop to buy a latte and a water. I caught a cab to my temporary residence and found a Sala full of people. They thought I had been kidnapped because I really didn't feel like checking out with them. However, I did tell the older lady where I was, but she was asleep.

After a few Thank God's, it was explained that I should never ever be left alone. I don't know why, but Vero was more loving in the morning. She didn't want to let me go to the bathroom. I don't know if she thought I was going to leaver her, but taking the time out helped in more than one way. It made her be more honest and she explained that I wasn't up to her level on the dance floor. So, I told her that maybe she should teach me. However, when we were at the heavily populated gringo locations, she didn't have a problem dancing with me. This brought up more questions.

Although I hadn't slept, I spent the whole day with her and her sister. I knew they couldn't afford to go the places I wanted to go to, so I paid. I didn't mind paying because they never asked for anything. I realized that money is a big deal to some there. However, Vero rarely asked for anything. Usually food or drink if anything. However, she did ask for some change to make phone calls if we were out and needed to make a call.

The rest of the week went very well. We worked out alot of our differences and realized there were very few. However, she left a big and good impression on me. She started to understand that I didn't see everything like a Colombian, nor required her to see things as a gringa. She was also a very unique women for me. I have never dated that many white people. Other than one in highschool and one in Hawaii, I dated one in Peru, but it was a unique opportunity to watch how people stared at her when we went out. This is quite strange considering I wasnt originally heavily attracted to her when I first met her. She was really nice, but I guess there is something about green eyed women.

I am still trying to sort out where I stand on her, but regardless of that, I am planning a return visit in August. I realized that just getting out the states can make me a very happy man after all of the crapy I have been through during the past few years. Again, sorry for not looking anybody up, but my temporary hosts kept me on a tight but safe leash. The great thing was nobody tried to take advantage of me and never asked for anything. However, I made sure I left something behind for the hospitality.

Only time will tell if something has sparked and will remain lit. However, I am still keeping my eyes open for the lines that shouldn't be crossed to protect me and the kids. Anyway, I will be back in Cali between 21-30 August.

[John Wayne]

Nice trip report PEPE.... nice, good luck....