Jib´s Trip Report

[Cap'n Jib]

Bogota Trip Report - Cap´n Jib [May 11, 2006 to July 11, 2007]

There is something scarry about planning someting and everything going according to plan. To be fair, I really did not care if things worked out (lady wise) because I was going move to LA permanently in 2007. The over all purpose was to establish a network of individuals in a number of locations that would be able to assist me in my search. As it turned out that network turned out to be rather small. The plan was simple but the preparations took a great deal of work. About two years of work, off and on, on who I was and what I really wanted in a mate and honestly evaluating what I had to offer.

It is amazing what the sub-conscious will do once it is given a bit of direction. This is the first of four part trip report (non-spell checked) of a two month trip to Bogota, Colombia including an eight day detour to Panama.

Part 1 Bogota - The First 11 Days
All told I met over 15 women in two days that were preselected by my wingman (aka Madre Pollo and not Mother Hen) according to strange but specific criteria. There were only two women that did not come close to what I asked for, but I knew the reason they were invited to the citas. All were professional women who either owned their own companies, managers or primarily worked independently of a group. Yep...this was one of my main requirements. They ranged from Product Sales Women to a high level administrator in a government ministry. All had some type of advanced education and as I did not specify English as a requirement, most did not speak English (Please remember, I´m fluent with 10 phrases in Spanish...2 phrases which I still have no Idea what they mean).

It really IS all about chemistry. The lady (hereon refered to as S.) that I was most attracted to, has a Chemical Engineering degree with a Masters in Micro-biology and taught at a University for 10 years. Ok so it would appear that I´ve more than met my match. With respect to chemistry, I don´t even recall passing chemistry in college...probably didn´t! She spoke no English and looked me in the eyes only three times during our first meeting that lasted 45 minuites. I do not know who was more surprised when she asked me to lunch...her for asking, or me for realizing that this was not "the real her" doing the asking. Having let a woman beat me to the punch concerning taking the lead, I weakly responded with yes... provided she would go with me to the Mothers´ Day lunch at Hacienda Las Margarita that I had been invited to.

As it turned out she might have been going there anyway as she is a cousin of one of the brother-in-laws of the family whose Mother we were celebrating Mother´s Day for. A foot note here is warnted...I had already made tentative plans to meet another group of women as I had a day or so free before going to Hacenda Las Margarita, but I didn´t schedule then or any time during the next two weeks to continue the citas. Looking back now over the two months spent here, [and I am speaking of my case ONLY] I´m glad I didn´t wasted my time with meeting any more women. A couple of the other women at the citas also made attempts to get me to commit spending time with them but there was no interest on my part. When it´s right...it´s right [chemistry].

I met over 70 people that Sunday at Hacienda Las Margarita and at least 30 of them appeared to be related to S. but even now I´m not sure how. I was, however, very carefully observed by her an Uncle and Aunt. I can recommend Hacienda Las Margarita. Excellent show, excellent food at a very fair price. The final event was a Mother & Son dance contest for a bottle of wiskey. Can these people dance? The Moms were fantastic and the Sons were quite accomplished themselves. They danced all the typical Latin dances as they kept eliminating couples from the contest. Then they got down to the final five Mother and Son couples and the competition really heated up. Margarita´s played Lit´l Richard´s "Tuttie Fruttie" as the final music selection. Not one of the Mom and Son couples missed the intro to the dance and acted as if the song selection was the most logical thing in the world. I have never seen this quality of mixed ages dancing before.

I had asked one of the guys who spoke English to do a bit of translating for us when we got there, because my date seemed frustrated that we could not communicate. After doing as asked, he left us to struggle on our own while he spent the rest of the day with his wife, children and mother mother-in law. Before leaving Hacienda Las Margarita, he called me aside. Put his arm around me and said "You had better learn Spanish..... and FAST!"

Lunch at S´s was not a ´I´m going to impress him´ type of thing but a typical everyday soup and lite entree. Most agreeable! MP (Madre Pollo) and her husband were there to referee..I mean translate. There was quite a bit of girl talk (in Spanish) and apparently a decision had been made. I would find out what....later. Some loud mouthed individual once posted on this board an answer to the question "How will I know she is the one?" with this response "She´ll know it before you do! ¨ Yep... I am that loud mouth and it did happened to me! She knew it before I did...as well as a number of other people so it would seem.

I had been staying at Bob´s Colombian Services and I can recommend his services without question. But my meetings in Panama had been move up and may have even require two trips there to complete business. As I could not pin down my actual time in Colombia or when I would be returning, this was making it difficult for any plans with S. in the near future.


I had been invited to the Club Militar in Paipa for a few days as a guest. It is is quite up scale by anyone´s standards. Paipa is a tourist destination (abut 160 Km outside of Bogota) for those who can afford a bit of the good life in Colombia and Club Militar was in fine shape. Spas with mud baths, fine dining and many distractions...I mean attractions. S and I were trying to force communication until we both realized that it was´t necessary. We were comfortable with each other and that was that. It was decided that because we could sit for a long time looking at each other and not get impatient, no problem existed. Just enjoy the moment now and once the language skills developed in the future, we would figure why we were so content with each other. At this point I am going to say something a bit contriversial but it is just my opinion. Almost all the questions and all the comments on the board (and I have contributed a number of the sillier analitical comments), revolves around questions, answers and logic. I´m not sure what logic has to do with love. After all, love is an emotion and logic should only be used to provide a system of checks and balances. IMHO, I doubt that logic has ever caused someone to love another person. In our case we will trust those emotions and go slow...very slow as this has worked in our favor thus far.

In Piapa I did notice something of interest though. Two 9´s plus were walking together and went into a cafe in Piapa. We followed shortly there after. These two gals were really into each others company talking and laughing. Naturally a few local guys had to try their "stuff" but the gals apparently explained that they were enjoying themselves and did not want to spoil the event with men. These gals were straight, both were lookers and there appeared to be NO competition with them. I haven´t seen this type of behavior in years between two very attractive women.


Before returning to Bogota, the driver of our car was extremely tired and I was asked to drive back. This was not part of the plan! The return trip was uneventful meaning in Colombia, meaning we returned alive. Upon approaching a bridge just at dusk I looked to my left and saw one of the in one of the pill boxes that were next to the birdge. There he was all set for action with his AK-47 and all. The all must have included his girlfriend because the two were locked in an embrace and kissing. Now that is my idea of "Defending the Piece".

We did have and hour break however as the singer Marc Anthony was playing at an outdoor theater along the highway and the traffic came to a complete hault. I mean a turn off the key, get out of the car and walk around type of hault. I made a mental note not to buy any more Marc Anthony´s albums.

Saturday was a babyshower for her girl friend who just happened to be married to S´s cousin, and the men were also invited. The "Agua Caliente" flowed and more relatives to meet. Let´s just say another thirty or so including her two brothers. I had a great time. Where else can you observe a very large extended family enjoying themselves. They appeared to liked each other with the kidding and jokes tossed around at many levels. Language skills help but nothing I know of prepares you for trying to follow three on going conversations at the same time while trying to remember the 10 words of Spanish you know and fit them into the answers to questions being asked of you. And I haven´t even got to the hidden meanings and double meanings. I liked it!

Sunday was lunch at her sister´s house. S´s brother-in-law and I had gotten to know each other a bit and I started to talk to him in French...primarily because he is French. For some reason it felt good to actually think in another language even though it wasn´t Spanish. Not a good idea because since that night I have been bouncing between French, Chinese, Japanese and some Spanish. It has made for some good laughs along the way BUT so far no thinking in Spanish. I know it will eventually come...but it does get frustrating.

I have been very fortunate in getting to know the family. I have learned more faster along the learning curve of getting to know a special someone, than I ever have in the past. I have even gotten good suggestions concerning the relationship from family members and wthout any manipulation on their part. A kind of take it or leave it type of thing. The inter-play with a Latina and her family has a lot to do both with with the actual and perception. From what I have seen thus far PERCEPTION is REALITY in her mind!...if you haven´t taken the time to understand that perception and how IT IS REAL to her, any change you think you might make is IMHO doomed to fail. Do I think that the family think is over blown? No! Of the first 11 days, nine were spent with some member of her family during the days, evenings or both and it was time well spend in my opinion. [Part Four is devoted to this topic]

[GrizGator]

"S and I were trying to force communication until we both realized that it was´t necessary. We were comfortable with each other and that was that. It was decided that because we could sit for a long time looking at each other and not get impatient, no problem existed. Just enjoy the moment now and once the language skills developed in the future, we would figure why we were so content with each other. At this point I am going to say something a bit contriversial but it is just my opinion. Almost all the questions and all the comments on the board (and I have contributed a number of the sillier analitical comments), revolves around questions, answers and logic. I´m not sure what logic has to do with love. After all, love is an emotion and logic should only be used to provide a system of checks and balances. IMHO, I doubt that logic has ever caused someone to love another person. In our case we will trust those emotions and go slow...very slow as this has worked in our favor thus far."

Jib, this quote really hit me...and it is such good timing. I met my girl in May at LAI and just came back from a week in Bogota with her. I used a translator quite a bit to make sure we got to know each other well. Now she and her daughter are going to meet me in Cartagena in two weeks for a week of vaction...sans translator. I have been really worried about this....but your post really has made me feel more at ease. I think she cares for me deeply...and your post has confirmed my thought that perhaps the lack of communication is not going to be a huge problem (sounds like I might know a little more Spanish than you, but not much!). Thanks for the insight.

[HonkyTonk]

Jib, I tought the big swell swallowed you. Good to sea you check in. Enjoyin' it Cap'n...

[El Capitan]

Great Report Jib, and thanks for placing an emphasis on the importance of family acceptance and interaction. Most tend to forget, that when you get involved with a Latina, it's not just with her...it's with the whole family!!

Thanks...

Thanks for the great report Jib, it seems so right to me what you say about being confortable with one another that nothing else much matters, and the part about everyone else knowing before you did is SOOOOOO true!!! If we could only learn to read the signals of those around us and not just the women we are with maybe we could save ourselves a lot of grief from time to time. Where you say about being part of the family I believe this to be true, Robert Vignola's book talks about this also, a crucial ingredient if you want to be happy with your Latin mate. I think I have been guilty of forcing communication at times because I tend to be very analytical and pragmatic, but maybe it has not been necessary. Maybe I should learn something from your insightful post and just look to see who I am comfortable with and let the communications come later. Along with being analytical comes being, or trying to be, logical and I agree, no one has ever fallen in love based on logic, not even if they wanted to. So I think I can learn a thing or two from this first post of yours and I thank you for sharing this with us. You say there are FOUR parts? That's great, if I can learn just one thing from each post, I will be that much better off. I get a kick out of what you say here:

"There is something scarry about planning someting and everything going according to plan".

Isn't that the truth!!! But it does happen and it is that logical mind at work doing it, covering all the angles, contemplating all the variables. I think your post makes me realize I need to let up a little and "go with the flow" because that is one thing I think the Colombians have all over us here in the states, they may not adhear to schedules and show up on time, and they may have that laid back attitude, but they do know how to live and have some fun. I need more of that myself and you can't rationalize yourself into having fun, you just have to do it!!!

Thanks for the great report Jib, I await the remaining parts....

GA

[Cap'n Jib]

Part Two - Language & Learning to Drive in Colombia

The following Monday we would be going to do the "meet the parents" or better know as "The Colombian Inquisition" thing. By this time, S. had decided that she could indeed speak some English, after all she reads technical journals in English. Now each of us knowing only about 10 words of the others´ language made for interesting conversation...not to mention a false sense of confidence. But apparently a solution was just around the corner. MP (Madre Pollo) had decided that taking the bus was not a good idea what with the up coming election and some unusual activity near where we were going. It was decided that we would rent a car! What a great opportunity for S. and I to bond and communicate, driving from downtown Bogota, through the country to her folks place.

Did I mention that S. has a three and a half year old daughter? Now for those of you who have not traveled five plus hours in a car with a child that does not take naps.... the experience, to say the least, is...well... interesting. How could S. keep her child occupied, while being my trusted co-pilot giving me directions in the Bogota traffic in a language I don´t understand? It wasn´t my idea, but someone in the family suggested taking along another three and a half year old cousin and the two children would keep each other company. Reminds me of the story of two cowboys on horseback at the top of a ridge talking and looking down into valley. They see another rider coming down the valley, the rider stops, stands up on the saddle, takes off all his clothes and jumps into a pile of catus. Naturally the man in the catus starts screaming and calling for help. The two cowboys up on the ridge race down to pull him off the catus. When they finally manage to get the bloody and cursing man off the catus, they ask him "Why did you do such a stupid thing?" the man replied "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time." I know exactly how "the catus man" felt!

I´ll leave most of the trip to your imagination. However, I can´t resist telling one little episode in Bogota. Question... when does the term "derecho" not exactly cut it with respect to driving instructions? When you are in the center lane of a three lane highway that splits the right and left. The co-pilot says "derecho" which from your stand point is out of the question because the center lane splits into different directions and there is no going straight. So you guess to the left. Wrong! From her standpoint and being on the right side of the car she meant "straight to the right". Ok...about ten miles of so down the road (after correcting for the previous wrong turn) we come to another split in the road and the same instructions are forthcomming so I take a right at the split. Wrong! This time she meant "a la izquierda" as "derecho" (it is the same in any language..."she may not have said it correctly, but she knew what she meant!"). To be fair (probably will regret this being fair thing later) but we are all guilty of trying to simplify something for another person not proficent in our language or "dumbing it down" to the point that we don´t make any sense to ourselves.

Finally, we get to our destination after the obligitory potty stops and all. The parents are great and I start to unwind after the trip here. But n-o-o-o... we are going up to their mountain cottage. The five additional miles or so are perhaps the roughest and hardest driving I have done. The road had wash outs, boulders scattered all over and pot holes large enough to make the entire front end of the car disappear. The cottage they described as "rustic" had running water, electricty, television, fireplace and one of the most breath taking views of various small pueblos. When the lights came on at night in the towns below, it was difficult not to become trance fixed by the vista. It was at this point that her dad did the Aguar Diente thing. Mountain high and Aguar Diente high is not double...it´s effect is exponential.

The next morning just the two of us go for a walk on the mountain somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000 feet. She decides she wants to climb up the damn mountain. A sea level living guy like me is starting to feel the altitude. It´s not all that bad at the beginning but with each step it became more difficult. The thought passed though my mind how they would they ever be able to get my body down from this mountain or would they even try. S. also said that after giving birth to her child, she would run up and down the mountain to get back in shape (that´s it lady...go on...rub it in).

Your not going to believe what happened next...impossible to describe. For those of you who saw the movie with Charley Sheen called "The Arrival" it appeared as if S´s legs reversed, just like the movie, and she now had hoofs instead of feet. She was jumping from rock to rock like a goat. You don´t have to believe me, but Charley Sheen and I know the true.

When we get back to the finca, I find out that after spending over five and a half hours riding in a car with 2, three and a half year olds yesterday, we are now going on a road trip of the local communities with those kids and S´s parents. A Busman´s Holiday comes to mind. However, it really was a wonderful day and I had a chance to see and experience a number of things most gringos might not.

The province of Boyaca to use a trite phrase is "breath taking". The Colombian National Bicycle team trains roughly between the Sogamosa and Aquitania area. Also in many respects this region has almost a perfect climate for growing crops. Three crops in rotation is the norm with many areas getting in four crops per year On this day and the next, our car was stopped five times at various check points(remember the up coming elections and the "unusual" activity in the area). At three of the check points everyone had to get out and the car was searched. Her Dad and I were subjected to pat down searches. Had forgotten to take a copy of my passport with me on this day trip, but my Florida driver´s licence worked ok as an ID.

Headed back to Bogota the following day, with additional stops along the way, was again very pleasant. In the three days, we spent at least an hour in each of the following cities: Tunja, Piapa, Duitama, Sogamosa, Mongi, Topaga, Aquiania, Iza and Villa de Leiva. (The hour stops were much enjoyed by the kids but not as much as us.) Tunja (pop. about 350,000) and Sogamosa (pop. about 50,000) might be cities worth exploring by a gringo who had good Spanish skills and realistic expectations. Tunja is a University town as well as agricultural businesses with mining mixed in. The others towns are much smaller with Piapa being a destination stop for vacationers. Aquiania is another, but smaller, vacation destination stop with a number of very nice resorts along the lake. The lake is know for it´s fishing and is actually fished commercially. Finally, the others are tipco small towns with a special and separate attraction all of their own.

In all I´ve only driven a bit more than 600 km in Colombia in only about a weeks´ time so it is really not a fair evaluation like one based upon years of driving, but here goes. I would avoid driving if at all possible and expecially in Bogota. Our circumstances were a bit different as explained earlier and I would probably not do it again. It may be something to be attempted after about 6 months in the country but NOT 11 days as I did. Also the language skills may have improved a bit. I can assure you that as adrendalin coursed through vains, this is not conductive to a quality educational experience. Also thou shalt not lose thy concentration while trying this stunt.

Traffic IS NOT based on any type of rules of the road as I would define them. Traffic IMHO is more of a "flow of liquid" type of experience. You must go with the flow. Even taxis, backing up for blocks at a time, seem to have type of "reverse flow". I sure can not explain HOW it works ...just that it does work. Those of us who have to have to be right and like rules of the road type of thing, or, there is only one and only one solution to a problem, will have difficulity understanding the traffic and driving here.

I do not care what the Larousse Diccionario says about the meaning of the word "Pare" or for that matter the octogonal red international driving sign. It does not mean stop in Colombia. If it did mean stop, then I probably would have seen someone, somewhere, actually stopping when in the proximity of one of these signs by now. Another point to consider is that what appears to be only a two lane highway out in the country, may not actually be so. Infact, when there are two solid yellow lines painted in the middle of the road (in the US this means no passing), the two solid yellow lines, in Colombia apparently signify a separate and exclusive lane of traffic, that can be used in either direction, by only underpowered motorcycles and turimiso buses. Say what you will, under your breath or not, about the traffic (and I do) it does work and I might say well. I have only observed three accidents since I´ve been here in Bogota (8 million people).

[LastLion]

Great report Cap'n !!!!! I like your writing style... I wish you the best!!!!! I hope you are at least studying spanish...

I have been seriously studying for 6 months and it helped a lot.. I can communicate with my girl becuase she is patient when talking and listening..

I know you are interested in living south of the border, keep me posted. I am looking for investments !!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SDR]

Jib, that was a great report. It's good to learn about some of the other smaller cities in Colombia. Your road trip with the little kids sounds like an adventure. My hat's off to you for undertaking it! Amazing what we'll do for the right woman. Good luck to you and your lady.

[Lostagain]

Great report Capt.J. Sounds like you really got into a situation where you could really get a taste of life in Colombia, though certainly not a campesino's world.

Derecha derecho ... there's a big difference between them, especially when you're in the middle lane of a fast moving autopista. But then in Colombia, there's no reason why you can make a vuelta derecha from the far left lane of a 4 lane road provided you somehow signal. The words are kind of like estribor and barbor; easily confused when the wind is really howling and with a big difference in meaning.

[Sailover]

Hey, all you need to do is lazily wave your left hand out the window, and the world seems to stop for you. It is amazing. A cross country bus drive can decide he wants to take the next left turn, (which, by the way is 40 FEET ahead), (and everyone is travelling 70) all he does is motion with his hand and make the turn. Rules of the road? Survival of the ballsy-est. (which oddly enough works for the women too)