Married in Cartago

[TBOND]

Married in Cartago




Wow, where do I begin? In order for everyone to understand my post, I think its best I do a total recall and go back to where my relationship left off & ended. Approximately two years ago I was scheduled to marry my then Fiancé. Strangely enough, it is almost two years to the date. November 23rd.

Hit by a Bus:

Around the last week in October of 2007, my Fiancé started acting strange and we hit a major roadblock in our relationship. I had been very upfront with my lady I wanted her to know exactly what her options were… so early on I explained what a Fiancé Visa was ( my preference) but she opted out . She said she wanted to be married before family and friends in her hometown. For me this was a good sign... because I felt the just getting married for papers factor was less evident. I felt wanting to be married before family & friends validated that she was serious. However, with less than 4 weeks to go before our wedding she dropped a bomb on me. .

After some pressing on my part, she explained she wanted a Fiancé Visa. Now under normal circumstances, this would be fine with me but I had already invested time, money, and resources to get married in Colombia and I felt it was excessively late in the game to switch gears now after months of planning. I a nutshell she got nervous about leaving Colombia and wanted a safety net. So the relationship ended it was over in my book and in hers.

I still Love You:

My lady (G) emailed me late November 2007 claiming how much she still loved me and to tell me she is sorry we could not marry and maybe it’s for the best blah, blah blah... All I knew was at the time my heart felt like it was Ice picked, chewed up, spit out, put in a blender, and then flushed for good measure... I was in no mood to hear how much she loved me... not when the wounds were still fresh so I never responded to her email. In my book it was over...I was angry sad, and depressed... And for me the RX to get over a heart break is had always been to develop anger in my heart for the person who ( I felt ) done me wrong and then to get back on the horse ASAP .. So I can get pass the pain. In my book it has always been when it is over it is over NEXT.




In January of 2009 (G) emailed me once indicating that she hoped I had a good Christmas (sure I did) and whishing me a happy New Year. This time I responded but with a short one sentence response. I responded that way because I was disappointed in her. I felt like I gave my all and my efforts were not appreciated. I needed a clean break from her it was the only way I could deal with loosing the bonds I formed with her, her son... and her family.


Aftermath:


The first thing I din on 2008 after about three months of feeling sorry for my self was to head back to the machine mainframe , the source ( Cali). I met a lady on line through Latin Cupid and after about a few months of contact I visited her. We had a blast she was fine and sweet in more ways then one, but you know what my heart was not in it.

Past the Physical part, there was no chemistry between us and maybe part of it was I was not quite right yet? Any way it was a brief encounter we faded after I went back to the states. I was also talking to another lady in Bogota who I was a real looker, she was a gym rat so her body was super tight... more important she and I clicked and had a strong attraction. We were in contact almost every night via web cam and web phone. I really liked her and thought something could develop but she was also a major emotional head case and a few things with her did not add up.

She had a very nice apartment in a vey nice part of Bogota but was not working? She either was the happiest woman in the world or near suicidal when she was sad. (Cancer)
So much drama I could not keep up… so in time this faded to... Over the next few months, I was in contact with women from all over Colombia and Brazil. I made a living on
Latin Cupid I highly recommend this site, e especially if you want an alternative to agencies. Let’s just say that by July of 2008, I was at peace and about 95% of my mojo was back.




Boomerang:

Just as I was back to being myself again I get a message that really caught me off guard. G sends me an email asking how my son and me were doing and wanting to let me know she still thought about me. I must admit I was part happy to hear from her and part weary at the same time I had mixed emotions... I responded by saying that I was recently in Cali and while I was there I thought about her, life was good and all was well. How is her son and family I hoped they were well and I told her to take care... that was about it.

She followed up with another email asking me why I did not call or visit her when I was in Cali. Heloooooo am I missing something here. Why would I call you or visit you after about a year with no contact when we are not together anymore? Anyway she goes on to say she has never forgotten about me , and that she thinks about me all the time, her son always asks for me as well as her father and family. Then in one bold stroke asked me what I was doing in Cali? Was I getting to know some chica? or did I already have someone? This is how it all started.

Proceed with Caution:


I was very careful and moved very slow with her I let her lead. I kept our contact to strictly emails for about two months... then one night I asked her for her phone number so I could call her. When I reached her, she was very happy she was crying. I was pretty calm and collected but underneath I was very happy to hear her voice. Even with this turn of events, I was in no rush to turn the corner with her again and honestly, I was not sure I wanted to. It was not until November 2008 that things turned serious. One night she asked me how did I view her did I only see her as a friend?

I responded by saying that she and I were going to form a family together and have been through so much... I cannot be friends with her if we are together …she agree with me and said she still wanted to form a family with me. Now that it was out in the open, I wanted it to happen but my Lost IN Space Danger will Robinson monologue was still resonating in my head. What gave me the courage to move forward was something seemingly small... She asked me if we were together again what would my son think? Ands she asked me if my son thought she was a badly of her. I thought this was a key factor because if she had an agenda my sons thoughts and what my family thought about her would not be a concern for her. So from that point on we started looking toward the future



Happy Birthday

In March of 2009, I visited her. At the Airport, her son ran in to my arms it was a very emotional scene. After a day or two we went to Cali for a few days to celebrate her birthday. I stayed at the Radisson and hosted a poolside birthday party for her friends and brother. Her brother and I were very cool... he told me that he had been asking her about me and she said we were not together any more. But she sill cared about me. So he told her to contact me that I was a good man .. What is the problem? He told me to speak to her and to work out our problems. She adores this brother (she has many) so I think this inquiry went a long way. Sh was very affectionate with me the entire time i was with her fro me this was key it was clear she was happy we were togehter again.


The Ring:

One key element for me was her engagement ring... did she still have it? Right or wrong, in my mind, if she really loved me and if the ring meant something to her she would still have it, even after a year. If she did not have it all bets were off. Fortunately, she still had it and was wearing it once I asked where it was. I was looking for when I arrived in Colombia the firs thing. The ring had value many women would have sold it in a heartbeat after the break up.



Key Factors:

I think there were a series of things that contributed for us getting back together. Here are a few.

#1. Her Son, Father and Family consistently asked about me. Her son and I became close and her Father who never associated with her previous boy friends loves me like a son.

#2. I really feel that after she and I ended she realized how much she loved me. That old cliché that you never no what you had until its gone is rock solid and so true.


#3. Her life changed when we broke up . She was working in Bogota and her son was in Cali with family while she was working. She was clearly better off with me financially then with out. I cannot post about accurately and leave out the economics. However, I honestly feel it was only a small part of the puzzle.




The Marriage: November 21st.

If I had to dream of a perfect wedding night then this would be it. Everything was truly blessed. About 25 to 30 people showed up but it felt like 100...My 21 year old son traveled with me making the occasion that much more special. It was the first time she was meeting anyone from my family. My son was a hit and the fact that he speaks Spanish fluently made him an instant hit... My son and my new son to be hit it off instantly.

The wedding took place in Cartago on November 21st at about 8:30 Pm We had a civil ceremony but it was not cut and dry like it is in NY civil ceremonies. It was somewhat religious in tone and was performed by a notary before all the wedding guests. After the ceremony that took about 30 minutes the reception was on... Her family and friends came to celebrate... I have never partied like that before all night long... Everyone was so happy her mother was ecstatic/.,.and she was beside her self with Joy. My son and I were as well. This wedding celebration lasted two days. We rented a Finca so that out of town guests could sleep over before heading home... We partied at the Finca until 7 Pm Sunday night... we had a DJ, a pool, liquir, food and live music. We had soo much fun I will never forget it.


I have never had so much liquor where I have lost complete blocks of time. I can not remember how we got form the Wedding Salon to the Finca...( we hired a bus ) all I know is when I woke up on Sunday I was in my underwear, I can not tell you how my clothes came off or how I got in bed.. Agaurdiente, Whisky, and Brandy flowed like the force … I started Sunday morning not with OJ but with Aguardiente and a dip in the pool. Needles to say I do not want to see even a wine cooler for the next two months.

I think stumbled upon a new mind control drug... drink the aforementioned liquors together heavily and in no particluer, order and you will loose your memory.


Cabo De la Vela ( Luna di miel)


We need to get away because we were never alone. So I suggested we take a short trip away. She wanted to take our little son but I quickly voted that down . This was not that type of trip. She asked me if we could go to Cabo De la vela ( La Guajira) I never heard of it but I said yes. I hade over 30k miles on my frequent flyer card with Avianca. I was able to get us round trip tickets for $150.00. To get to Cabo you need to fly to Ochoa Rio. Then Journey by Car and 4 x4. Three ½ hours.

This is the most remote place I have traveled to. After we touched down in Ochoa Rio it took one hour by car and then we had to switch vehicles and travel in a 4 X4 (OFF Road Desert) for another 2 ½ hours. It was long trip but Cabo is worth it.

I have never seen Desert /mountain terriane merge with the beach and ocean before.. Crazy colors and sunsets... a phtogrpaer’s dream. You had a Desert and mountain landscape on your right and a Blue green Ocean and Beach landscape on your left complete with infinity views I was awed.

I have always appreciated Gods handy work looking at the sky at dawn or at sunset but I never relished the night skies before. I was taken a back at just how bright the stars were at night and how black the skies were... I could see and point out just about every constellation. “Amazing” Forget the Sunsets Spectacular…Cabo is a must see but it’s not for every traveler. It has few amenities or distractions... there are no clubs, rooms have no TV and many of the rooms are just a cut above a shack... but if you have a lady, girlfriend, fiancé or wife who is a trooper this is a must stop. For me it was perfect. We were our only entertainment. =)

At night we would sit in one Hammock on the beach facing the ocean with cool breeze is hitting us while we sipped on brandy or cocktails. Saying nothing to one another just hugging and kissing while we looked at the Moon and star lit illuminated the sea. I will ever for get it... burned in my mind forever. I hate to get all mushy but I wanted to paint a clear picture of this place. I have some Photo’s of Cabo and of the wedding; I can post as long as HT can remove them after a few days and guide me in loading them.?




Let’s Put it in Perspective:

I realize that now that I am married the hard part begins. I read the horror story Posted by REX B and my heart goes out to him. I am fully aware of the dangers but you cannot live in fear. All you can do is trust in God and ask for wisdom and guidance and GO FOR IT!

God forbid , but if my wife “Grecia” turns to the dark side, I feel I am prepared to deal with it. I love my Wife and new son but I will never let anyone take advantage of me once I am aware that is their intention. You cannot love someone so much, that you will not leave them even if they are hurting you. (My philosophy) and I think its a very important that your partner knows that . In my case I had to take the shot, hopefully I will be successful so pray for me... GT family. I am a happy man and I feel the future is bright. I think I am proof that sometimes a bad ending can turn out well.

TBOND...

[Jamie]

Thanks for sharing interesting adventure; I wish you and your new family the best.

[LastLion]

Damn TBOND, what a hell of an ending. And start of a beginning.

I have been follwing you for some time here. Actually you have been missed. But I understand what you went thru and why you havent posted.. I am really happy for you man. Nothing works out the way any of us think it will or wish it will, but I truly think you have seen the good and the bad and know what you are working with.. Many men dont get the oppurtunity to see and deal with the bad, in these long distance things.. That is what kills it later.

It sounds like you found your gal. MAn congrats, I cant say enough about it. Thanks for posting, its great to hear some good news on the board and to hear it from a vet like you!

[Ricardo]

TBOND,

Congratulations and glad to hear that all ended well. Great to hear about a board veteran tying the knot. Good luck with the road ahead.

[HonkyTonk]

TBOND, what a pleasant turn around since your last update! All the best to Sra TBOND, your new son and family. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish y'all the very best from now till kingdom come...

Come on, be a Griz (gator) and fill us in on the adjustment period and real life stuff. How 'bout it??

Then what happened...

[John Wayne]

Wow, what a story, Thanks for taking the time to not only relive it in its writing, but sharing it with us....

[Tinto]

TBond,

Thanks for taking the time to share such a great post! I enjoyed reading it and I'm very happy for you.

Your comment about Cabo de la vela interested me enough to do internet search for photos of the place while waiting for you to post your own. It looks amazing! You might want to publish your photos on a site like Flickr so that you can have complete control over who sees them and for how long. Flickr is highly recommended.

For those interested there are a number of photos posted of Cabo de la vela here.

One very talented photographer, "michelangelodamicis", has some great shots not only of Cabo de la vela but all over Colombia. I'd highly recommend perusing his Flickr account for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/michelangelodamicis/

[TheWix]

Wowwwwwww,
That guy is very very good

[avatar]

Thanx TBOND!!!! Congratulations to all of you! Your story made my day.

[TBOND]

Jaime, Ricardo, John Wayne , Avatar and The Wix… Thanks for the well wishes I really appreciate it.

LL, thanks for always having my back. I have always enjoyed reading your posts. I have not posted because I wanted to see where this relationship was headed first i wanted to see where it ended. Also I have a new new position that keeps me really busy. But good or bad, I was going to post the outcome. I did not want to post unless I had something meaningful to contribute. However, I will try to be more active I missed the board.

HT, thanks you for all the support you have given... of course I will give you the GRIZ insider report once it becomes available =)

Thanks Tinto as usual, you are a wealth of Information... I joined flicker and hope to have some shots up soon. Cabo rocks ... you are dead on it is Amazing.