My new family.....

[GrizGator]

Hi everyone...

As many of you know, I was married last fall to a Colombiana from Bogota. She is almost 29 and has a step-daughter who recently turned 10. Both of them have been in the U.S. with me for 9 weeks as of today.

Life has been interesting since there arrival. There have been some funny things along the way (like the day they both saw a "cockaracha"), good days, a few bad days, and just regular days. I wish I would have taken the time to write down some of the better stories, but I haven't. So I am starting this thread to chronicle some of my experiences and some of my observations.

I welcome questions and comments from those who have not yet married a Colombiana....and I also welcome comments and experiences and observations from others who are currently married (or were once married) to Colombianas.

Just to give you a little more info. I am 41. I was previously married to a gringa. I live in a small town in central Florida, although I am near both larger cities and the east coast. I am a college-educated professional. My wife has some college...and previously worked for her father (before he passed away from cancer).

My daughter is currently in 4th grade and loves school (even though she doesn't know a lot of English and has been "immersed" into the English-only 4th grade). She is a good kid who never gives me any trouble and has not copped an attitude once in the 9 weeks she has been here (I am VERY lucky).

My wife has had some health problems since being here (primarily related to a birth control implant that her Colombian doctor gave her last September). However, we have her taking English lessons 8 hours per week at the local college (she previously studied English in Bogota, but has a long way to go). She is also studying to take her driver's test.

There are lots of Mexicans and Puerto Ricans in the area, so she does meet people who speak Spanish....and there is a Latina supermercado not far away.

With my next post, I'll start from the first day they arrived and move forward. Unfortunately, this series of posts will probably not be overly entertaining, but hopefully it will be informational. And maybe along the way I can recall some of the funnier situations that have occurred.

Griz

[El Capitan]

Hey there Griz!!

All too ready to hear how you're making out with your family. Carry-on Sir! And I'm sure I;m not the only one looking forward to your thoughts and experiences.

Congratulations once again, and all the best as the three of you move forth.

PS - If it's a "T" that she's having problems with, it's not uncommon as most GYN's in LAm recommend it, implant it, and then somewhere along the line someone forgets to mention that it needs to be maintained on a regular basis as it can get cocked (no pun intended) and cause some discomfort.

Good Luck with this...

[Cap'n Jib]

Griz,

Sounds like a great start. Like you, the family life gig is the best. In my case, raising my own daughters, there just never seemed enough time. Now, I savor each day. I was lucky and got a second chance to enjoy the blessings.

I like the idea of you living in a small town in Florida. Small towns, IMO are a great!

Please keep us posted.

[LastLion]

Great Griz, I will be one of those guys looking forward to your story.
El capitan it scares me that you know that about the birth control.. jajaja j/k

[Lostagain]

Welcome to the party Griz, little by little the members of the board are tying the knot with Colombianas. Please keep us posted as to how things are going and if you want any observations from the left coast, let me know. We will hit 4 years this April (together 6 1/2) and there is still so much to adjust to. You are very lucky to have a vibrant Latin community where you live. I pity the gringo that tries to bring his Latin bride to Blistering Cold, Montana, where they've never seen a Latina/o in their lives. Suerte amigo.

[GrizGator]

Nice to here from both Caps! I'll post some more soon.

El Cap - Actually, the doctor in Colombia gave her a Norplant-like implant in her arm. It has really been a problem. The bigger problem has been finding someone here who is willing to remove it. At least the implant has not been in long...it's still near the skin.

Originally Posted by ElCapitan

Hey there Griz!!

PS - If it's a "T" that she's having problems with, it's not uncommon as most GYN's in LAm recommend it, implant it, and then somewhere along the line someone forgets to mention that it needs to be maintained on a regular basis as it can get cocked (no pun intended) and cause some discomfort.

Good Luck with this...

[GrizGator]

My fellow Gringos:

First, I should give you some background information on me. I am 41, born and raised on the east coast of Florida. I’ve lived almost all of my life in Florida, with the exception of a few years in western New York, a few years in Mississippi, and a year in Tennessee. I was married for a few years in the late 90’s. Other than that, I have lived by myself for most of the last 16 years.

I’ve already told the story of how I met my wife in Colombia and how things led to marriage. So, I’ll fast forward to the embassy interview. My wife’s K-3 visa interview was on a Friday in January of this year. I decided it was best to be there for the interview. Things went like clockwork and my wife and step-daughter had their visas approved after less than five minutes with the interviewer. Because of work, I had to go back to the U.S. on the following Monday morning. My wife picked up the visas on Monday afternoon and then spent the rest of the week preparing her and her daughter for the move to the U.S. In all honestly, I was glad she made the decision to travel later. I can only imagine how those last few days went. I heard there were a lot of tears at the airport….and since I was the cause of those tears, I’m glad I wasn’t around.

My wife and (then) 9 year old step-daughter arrived in Miami on Friday afternoon. After a few hours in customs, they finally walked out of customs and into the good ole US of A with four suitcases in hand. It was a long ride home. By the time they got out of customs, it was late afternoon and Miami traffic was building. We stopped in Boca Raton for dinner, but the ride home must have seemed endless to them. It is four hours from Miami to my home. Add in traffic and the stop for dinner and you get the picture. Unfortunately, it was dark for the most of the way home, so they didn’t get to see much.

The first week in the house was full of activity…getting new cell phones, getting my step-daughter a physical for school, getting them covered by my health and dental insurance, and getting them acclimated to the area. Fortunately for me, my job provides me with the flexibility to work part of the week at home. One of the toughest things has been determining what foods and beverages they like. For example, as many of you know, the sweetener used to make Coke is different in Colombia. So, I quickly discovered that my family did not like Coke, but thought Pepsi was OK. I also discovered they didn’t care much for mashed potatoes and gravy…..or for biscuits. They don’t like McDonald’s hamburgers either. And U.S. milk bothers their stomachs. They like pasta, but not with red sauce…they make their own white sauce out of milk and some onion to taste. On a good note, they don’t require a lot of sweets or junk food. Cookies last forever in the house and we rarely buy potato chips and other junk food. I found out that they DO like American beef and American pizza. The OJ is different, but acceptable. The grocery store has Milo (for my step-daughter) and we found a Latina grocery store that sells arepa mix, Postobon “gaseosa”, malta, and arequipe….so they are happy.

My step-daughter began school her second week here. She had just finished the third grade in Colombia in November and we were concerned that they would place her in third grade here. Fortunately, because she had attended private school in Colombia, the school agreed to place her in fourth grade here. My step-daughter had studied English in Colombia, so she knew a lot of works….but she is far from able to communicate (speak or listen) in English…although she tries. Much to my surprise, she has been immersed into an English-speaking fourth grade. She works with the ESOL teacher a few days a week for an hour…and she is given some extra language work to do at home….but that’s it. I am happy to report that my step-daughter likes to go to school and does not have to be asked twice to do her homework. So far, things with my step-daughter are working out very well. She is well-behaved, she works hard at school, and she helps around the house. I couldn’t ask for much more.

More about my wife and her adjustment on my next post….

[El Capitan]

Griz...great start!! I can hear your pride and happiness beaming through here!!

Keep it up, and glad you chose to share your experience with us.

[HonkyTonk]

Griz, great to hear you tell us the details of the process and adjustment. So many others don't. I look foreward to more, much more

As far as your daughter learning English. She will learn it at the speed of light. P who I'm dating in Atlanta has an 8 year old son and was placed in an all English class. He was speaking English well within 6 months but still shy to speak it with me. Now he wants only to speak English with me and can't wait to get me on the phone to talk about everything in his life.

My Calena amiga I often talk about...same thing with her 8 year old son. He was talking to me in very good English in just 6 months.

They actually pick it up so quickly but are sometimes shy speaking it. Then they come out of their shell. Your daughter will learn and understand English much sooner than 6 months. Kids have an amazing ability to learn things like that quickly.

[GrizGator]

One of the biggest adjustments my wife and step-daughter had to make initially was the weather (believe it or not). Despite the fact that both of them were born and raised in Bogota, they do not like the cold…and get cold very easy (I wish I have a nickel for every time my wife told me “tengo frio” since I met her). The temperature in central Florida is usually pleasant and then becomes downright hot in the summer. But we can also get some cold. Unfortunately, the cold came at the wrong time for my wife. Immediately after her arrival, we had the coldest weather of the year. One night, the temperature actually dropped to freezing. On some days, the highs were only in the 50’s. My wife could not believe this was Florida. Fortunately, the weather has improved since then and we are getting our typical March 70’s/low 80s during the day and more moderate temperatures at night. Thank goodness….because my wife made the mistake of leaving her jackets in Colombia…thinking she wouldn’t need them here.

I think things have been more difficult for my wife than my step-daughter. My step-daughter has school every day…and she’s met some friends at school who are bi-lingual. She likes to ride the bus. She doesn’t mind doing the homework. On top of that, the teachers have been very nice and supportive. My wife, on the other hand, is home most of the time. She has been studying the driver’s manual (in Spanish) on and off, but has not taken the examinations (rules test, sign test, and driving test) to get her license. It’s too bad, because I have a car waiting for her….I think things will be more interesting for her when she can get in the car and go shopping…or just drive around. As I mentioned, I live in a small town. My subdivision is on the outskirts of town, so there’s not much in walking distance. We have a bus system, but nothing like the one in Bogota. And at any given time of the day, we might have two taxis driving around town. In Bogota, there were taxis and buses everywhere you turned. My wife’s casa was near her daughter’s school. It was near the exito. It was near the Santa Fe mall. It was near the hairdresser, the butcher shop, and the bakery.

About a month ago, I called the local community college to inquire about ESOL classes for my wife. Much to my surprise, I discovered that ESOL classes are provided free and that my wife could begin any time, after taking a placement test. My wife had been taking English lessons in Colombia, but stopped when her father got ill with cancer. Fortunately, my wife has been taking the ESOL classes for the past 3 weeks, 2 days per week and 4 hours per day. Communication is a big issue for her. She feels very self-conscious when meeting my friends and work associates…because she can’t communicate. To me, getting her conversational in English is the most important step to her long-term happiness here. At this point, I should mention that before visiting Colombia for the first time, I had taken a total of one semester of Spanish…and that was 20 years ago. When I met my wife for the first time in Bogota, I knew virtually no Spanish and had to rely on a translator. But I immediately began to study Spanish, playing language CDs in my car. I learned enough that my wife and I can communicate. I’m not sure my wife’s relatives understand my Spanish, but it’s good enough for my wife. When things get complicated, we still resort to the translator….but that is pretty rare. I guess neither of us are the type that have to talk all of the time…so we get by fine.

Being at home all day can be boring for my wife. Fortunately, as I said before, I can work at home part of the week (parts of the day on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays when I don’t have meetings at work). And, of course, the local cable company has a variety of Spanish channels, some which show Colombian tele-novellas (she watches them each afternoon). My wife e-mails and chats with her cousins and brothers over the Internet. And she has a Noble.com phone card she uses to call her mother. They talk every day for about 20 minutes. The phone card runs be about $20 every 3-4 weeks….a good investment in my mind. I personally wish my wife did not see the need to speak to her mother every day….to be more independent. But my wife is almost 29 years old and this is the first time she has been away from home. So I guess I should expect this. Hopefully, over time, she will find less of a need to speak with her family every day….but maybe not. It’s not really a problem for me….unless these conversations begin to reflect unhappiness here.

More tomorrow.....