Shep's One Year Mark With Green Eyes

[Shep1302]

Gents,

Sorry I disappeared for a couple of long stretches, but I have been pounding out my masters thesis over the last couple of months and it gobbled up a lot of my time. Well, its done. Now I have a little time to talk about Clara.

Everything with her has gone really, really well. I couldn't have asked for a better woman. I attached a couple of pictures to this post.

Quick recap to how I got hitched:
- I met Clara in late April of 2006 in Medellin. (No agency, just serendipity)
- I took Spanish classes at EAFIT University for about 6 weeks of my 8 weeks in Medellin. I met Clara almost right away and we dated exclusively the whole time.
- I got to meet her parents, relatives, and friends. This was an eye opening experience. They are Colombian middle class: educated, but they work their asses off.
- She had a tourist visa to the States. When I was ready to go home, she bought a ticket to come visit me in the States with her own money. She was going to stay for two months.
- She arrived in Seattle. She hung out with me for two weeks meeting my parents, relatives and friends. They instantly fell in love with her. My mother liked her better than me after three days .
- About after one month of her being in the states, we decided that we didn't want our relationship to end or become a long distance thing. I called an immigration attorney (actually several). After carefully reviewing our options, we got married (Oct 15) after she was here about two and a half months in Vegas.
- We settled this year in Tempe Arizona while I was finishing my masters degree at ASU.

The First Month of Marriage:
Clara is the most easygoing girl I have ever met. That really came in handy. She took the cultural and language difference in stride. She started to get stir crazy in October. She couldn't legally work, so I enrolled her in ASU's ESL program. Great English program, but the price was pretty steep. But it was within walking distance, so we couldn't beat that.

My friends here in the Phoenix Valley loved her immediately. They were really surprised that I went out and got married though. I had been a pretty successful bachelor for my entire adult life.

Clara presents herself well, and most women I know really took to her. Her English is about 70% and she can hold down in depth conversations. Most of my male friends are bachelors themselves. They took to Clara very quickly. She likes hanging out with guys more than girls, and my friends welcomed her to their social circle readily.

The only problem the first month (or two) was me. I had become so used to being alone, I found it hard to adjust to living with a woman. I found it maddening for about the first six weeks. Clara just took it in stride. We had a few squabbles (that were really my fault), but things really settled down by December. I just had to grow up a little bit and learn how to live with a woman.

The Last Five Months:
The Green Card process went amazingly fast. We filed on Dec 27. We had our interview by Feb 14, and got her Green Card by April 5.

Clara is in the middle of getting her driving license. I tried taking her out driving once, but I decided that that wasn't a good idea if I wanted to stay married! So, I hired a driving course and my friends have been trading off and on with her driving lessons. She is doing great.

Clara has gotten a part time job as a beer promotion girl, working in various supermarkets around the Phoenix Valley as a bilingual model. Her pay, in my humble opinion, is ridiculous for what she does (stand around and smile). Its $20 bucks an hour. We are actively looking right now at getting her a job with the state in social services or possibly as a Spanish speaking school teacher. She has a engineering bachelors degree, so we will see if it will translate over and be recognized.

Issues and problems:
None really. She loves it here. Sure, she misses her family, but she has really just taken to life here really well. I couldn't have asked for a better life partner than her. In short, I have lucked out - big time.

Main point: This whole option for dating and marriage is completely doable. You just need to be able to think outside the box and approach it realistically.

I am forgetting to fill in a lot of blanks here. So, if you guys have any questions, please feel free to shoot.

Thanks,
Shep

[Lostagain]

Shep, congratulations on a very successful first year. The picture of you two together says it all. There are two obviously very happy people together. It sounds like your wife has had a fairly easy adjustment to living here. Your decision on the driving was the right one. I went through the same thing and came to the same conclusion. Once she can drive, I think you'll find her adjustment to living here will go even faster.

I am surprised that there aren't free English classes there. My wife has been attending free classes here for almost the whole time she's been here and will be taking her citizenship exam a week from Friday.

There are agencies that check into degrees and provide a certification that they are equivalent to the degree here. I used one many years ago when I was practicing in immigration law. You can probably find several on the internet. I'm sure your wife will have no problem getting her degree recognized here.

Again, congratulations and welcome back to the board. You have been sorely missed and we are really glad to hear all is going well.

Lost Again

[Tim413]

Shep,

Great report!!!!!!!!! I am glad things are going well!!!!!!! You are a very lucky gringo!!!!!!!

I look forward to hearing more as you have time.

Tim

[HonkyTonk]

Good to hear from you Shep! I have to agree with LA that your insite was missed on the Board. I hope you continue to fill us in when you have the time.

Congrats to all out married members who continue to fill us in on what it's really like to go thru the process!

[Cap'n Jib]

Congratulations and welcome back!


“The only problem the first month (or two) was me. I had become so used to being alone; I found it hard to adjust to living with a woman.”

That is an extremely important point and really hasn’t been addressed much on this board. The adjustment for me was extremely difficult what with living on the boat alone. The boat was my mistress and a very demanding one at that. Patience and understanding on S.’s part was an absolute necessity for us to succeed.



“I just had to grow up a little bit and learn how to live with a woman.”

What a title for a topic thread…or a book! Also some of us (moi?) do not seem to remember lessons ‘supposedly’ learned in the past and are doomed to relearn them. Grow Up A Little, To Live With A Woman (GUAL, TLWAW) another Shepism!


“Main point: This whole option for dating and marriage is completely doable. You just need to be able to think outside the box and approach it realistically.”

You are certainly back in form…as if you were ever out of it. The ability to adapt and look for solutions rather than program oneself with excuses for future failure is the key.


"A Green Card for Green Eyes" ….Ah, if only I had some skills in poetry what could be done with that. Or another book posssibility?

As far as her credentials, I know of two members of S's family with engineering backgrounds that are working in the U.S. The U.S. is not graduating enough engineers to handle it’s needs. If I understand correctly, many firms do not discriminate with respect to financial remuneration solely because of nontransferability of accreditation. Future company selection might take a bit more effort to determine IF the company pays the same. However, demand usually takes control of the job market so things should work out fine.



That photo of the two of you says it ALL! God Bless!

[Cubafro]

Shep I'm so happy for both of you and look like a very happy couple
Wish you that this harmony continue my friend
And welcome back on the board

CUBA

[Dragon3283]

great report shep your story is truly and inspiration and a beacon of hope for the rest of us .

[TheBatmanDude]

Great report. An inspiration. Keep up the happy times.

[El Capitan]

Shep, thanks for taking the time to fill in all those blanks, and for sharing a bit of your life with us. Great story, evidence of a lot of hard work and determination on behalf of both of you, and the two of you look great together.

Congratulations...and my best to your beautiful bride !!! I wish the two of you many years of good fortune and happiness !!!

[Cubafro]

Just To Know How Things Are Going For You Shep
DonÈt Forget Us

Cuba