Life in Nicaragua

[John Wayne]

I know I have been accused of seeing things thru rose colored glasses, and I want you to know that life here in Nicaragua has not been all that rosy.

I have had my share of petty thefts and heartbreaks dealing with a culture that is so different than the one I grew up in myself.

And very serious situations that were in fact at times life threatning.....

BWTF I am an adventurer and it goes with the terriortory if you wish to really get out in the wild.....

I had been a part of a business venture that was in excess of 850k in cash and 6 years of untold man hours in the makeing, or should I say the attempt thereof...

It failed as I will get into it a bit as follows....

Taking me from a 4th world shantie town, (Nicaragua, the second poorest country in the Caribbean Basin, since the Socoilists have had control) that grew up along the beach front to the south of the regions trade center....."El Mulle"...The Wharf".

Where small tramp freighters stop by perhaps twice for the month in these present days linking San Andreas, the Corn Islands, Bluefields, Rama, and Puerto Cabezas to Miami, and the rest of the world....

Just a finger pier sticking out on the open sea for 1/2 of a mile off the beach, is what it actually is.

From the early 20th century, shipping bananas, lumber, seafood, and natural rubber for use in chewing gum and tires...

Corruption, so bad, even in the Court system, that we had to legaly fight, takeing up a lot of time, money and frustrations, over three supposedly owners of a property that was leased to us supposedly free of any lieans, or any encumbrances.

I mean Dam, when you lease something from a 4th world government, that has a history of armed conflict and political instablity what can you expect?

I mean really, a national law from the 1800's, that the state owns 300 meters from the mean High water mark and you take out a lease on a part of it from them, completey unused and abondoned, 100 meters square, that someone had previously had an attempt at making business there, and only junk and an over grown yard was left in it's place.

Hind sight is 20/20....

And a Nicarguan Lawyer, that wrote briefs for the Nicaraguan Supreme Court.....Very influential Sandinista family I might add, (I wanted to kick his F#ckin' A$$ so bad, I shook with the orgasum of doing it, have you ever been there in your mind?, come on be honest..)....

NOTE: I was 15 years younger then, and he was about my same age and build....

When I caught him red handed, turning into US investors that I was hired by, a piece of paper porported to be a reciept for 20k that was only a memorandum in Spanish from an Officer/Legal advisor of the Nicaraguan Port Athuroty, to the cashier, mentioning the sum in numbers and letters to be accepted from him, and was NOT the recipt for money tenderd, that he later admited to me he used for personal reasons.....

Gave me a sob story about his invalid Nicaraguan wife exiled in the States during the Contra war, and needed to bring her back home to him with all of her personal goods.

This stupid son of a *****, coming to my hotel one night at 9 pm in Managua, for a private meeting and inviteing me out for a sandwich, and takeing me down into a barrio off the main roads, with 5 bad boys blocking the road with machettes......

I told him, pulling out my pistol and jacking a round into the chamber, If you stop, you are the first one going to die.....(This story is true, and if you believe it or not, I could care less)

He had no idea I legaly carried a gun......

Labor cases poping up every week, that we had absolutey nothing to do with, from years before we even came to town, even a F#cking Dog that had a club foot leg, who watched the property for years, "Without" any pay, alginaldos, or Prestionies for 5 years, (that is as far as you can go back in Labor Court) and I might add the dog had health problems stemming from lack of food during this time, and needed compensation for that as well......(I kidd you ****in Not).....

If you ain't been there, you have not lived.......

I won cases in court in the morning, just to have them over turned that afternoon by another Judge......

I took the Judges to the Supreme Court in Managua, and won, only for it to be set aside, (read this forgotten about) when I got back to Puerto Cabezas.

What a stupid distraction to buying seafood produced by the locals and exporting it....Majority of the freaking money curculateing amongst the populas...

Puerto Cabezas, and Bluefields, trade centers for the reigon, that has 60% of the land mass of Nicaragua, and less than 10% of the population, (F#ck, I can count on both of my hands, the North Americans that live here full time, this includes Canadians) consisting of Miskito, Zumo, and Rama Indians, Creole, and Mestizo people of Europian, Asian, and African extraction......

An ex Sandinista student, that had after finding out the revolution against Somoza was for a bunch of communists on the Pacific side and only thought of his people as animals, lazy, and givin to slothfulness, tickled with a rattle, and pleased with a straw.

And he and his people embraced the above till they saw the direction against them and their natural resources, revolted against the communists, and to start, because they had no arms by law, did it with Bows and Arrows, and sabotage.......

Continued.....

[John Wayne]

My children s young ***** dog....Safira......

Now I have been accused of cutting my stories off, and kinda leaving people hanging.....

But to be honest, I have not only been useing the readers of my stories on several web sites as a probe.....

One of them, I would not give a Ratts Ass, if the site lived or died.......NL,.... NOT to be confused with TRN, or GT, ....censoring of freedom of speech of friends is a No, No in my book, even if I don't agree with what they have to say....

Though mine were not, others were, and I back them, like LCT, and Jhon, .....Take that site and shove it, FYL .......

I, to find out, if there is truly interest in true adventure stories, about someone that has the A$$, to get up off the couch, turn the dam TV off, pack you a bag, fire up that one lung motorcycle, or heist the sail.....and get out in the world.....

Now these stories, that are not only informative, (because I, and others of a like mind, actually have been there, done that, and they are not, the work of a fictional creative mind) but meant to be entertaining as well.

I got to goofing around on the keyboard several years ago, and it has turned into a satisfying hobby for me.

For many that follow, you are just going to have to BUY the freaking book to hear the ending of some of them.

Shades of LL here.....

We, and Micky, Jim, Tinto, Tonk, YAK, Jhon, FAP, El G, LG, P2, Angie, Big E, Griz, SFNM, SO, and others, too many to mention here, are going to have a good 'ole SOTB (south of the border, which if I remember right, that is the Mason/Dixon line) pig pickin' one day.

As my best buddy Gaston, from Corn Island Nicaragua says in his Creole English, "If God spares simple life".

And for those that don't eat pork, we'll throw a Chicken or a few squirrels on the grill for ya.

Ain't a whole lot I can do for those vegetarians with a Gluten Free diet, and cannot even eat corn bread, or tortillas, you just going to have to graze in the yard I guess.....

Gonna have to Call Al Gore for advise on that one I reckon....

Please, nobody feel slighted........I LOVE all of my internet friends.........and I want to give you a Big 'ole Cyber Hug right now...

I sometimes tear off the last few chapters of a story, just to be a royal pain in the arse....Talking to you in particular here El D....

I wish to give special thanks to THOM, who has visited and spent time with me and my family here in Nicaragua several times, been a brother to me, and an uncle to my children, .... He made this last Christmas Truly, memorable to me and my family, and gave me this computer on which I now write...

Thank you Brother, ..... though we were born 2 weeks apart, and to different parents, we ARE Brothers, even if you do play Golf in the snow in Canada.........(to be honest, I think I would rather jerk off,..... I ain't no Golfer, Snow or not).......

I cannot imagine for the life of me, .... three days out of the year, .... with no snow on the ground.

Ok, Ok, I am getting to it, .... that is, the story about my children s dog, Safira......

Pardon me for drifting, but I do eventually get back on the subject matter.........

CRS......Can't Remember $hit.........I have to control it without drugs, but the local Nicaraguan Rum does help a bit........

Pour me something tall and strong, make it a Hurricane, before I go insane.....

Now don't let me give you the wrong impression, I am not a Dopy, but in fact a rednek, though I have smoked a ton of that left handed, home grown tobacco in my youth.

It just made me silly, hungry with the "Munchies", and horny as a three balled Cat in the nights.......

Getting back to the story line.....

Now I have spoke of "Dirty Laundry" in the past, and this comes into play.....

My neighbor here in Nicaragua, Ceferina, is about one of the most useless pieces of $hit women that God ever permitted to be born alive, she should have been born dead, or a partial birth abortion, in my humble opinion.....

You remember them birth certificates of "Live Birth"?.....

For a long time, till he was a man of 17 years, my uncle Cecil O'Neil Fordham, and wanted to volunteer for active duty by joining the Navy in WW 2, had one that stated "Baby Boy, Fordham" ... no name.....

He had to go tell the beauru of vital statistics in the county, his name to get it straightened out....

This was in the US of A.....

So anyway, my sister in law brought as a gift to my children, a female puppy.....

Now THOM had given to my children a movie about a Dragon that started with an egg, and a boy, that developed into a loving relationship as will happen between man and animals.......

The Dragons name was Safira..........

To be Continued.........F#ck you Jason.........

[Sailover]

Hey Duke, hypothetically, if someone got a wild hair up his ass and decided that it was time to head up and see your world, how would he get there, say, from Bogota.

[HonkyTonk]

Good to see you back JW! Some of the members were worried about you. I wasn't one of them...

...and if you don't start finishing these stories I'm taking "holiday" and giving you an ass thumpin'! That is after I get you liquored up, passed out and disarmed. You gonna look like you went 15 rounds with Mike Tyson with your hands tied behind your back... I'm not messing with your fingers that type out these great stories though!

Then what happened...

[John Wayne]

Why would?

The Department of Justice USA....allegedly has an indictment against one John Wayne Gooding......

For involuntary manslaughter, with the deaths of various persons in the States, resulting from my shipping to there years ago poisoned seafood products.....

This is the recent rumor I heard from my humanitarian neighbors here in Puerto Cabezas......

They are here for to do a work, and got disenchanted with the whole show, and now wish to go home like I do.....

I am making a calling for help to find out it this is true or not......

If it is, I have every wish to answer to said charges......

And to get my A$$ out of Dodge.....

This is no joke.......

[LastLion]

JW, not sure if when your saying it aint a joke or it aint a joke. I have some friends in LAW ENFORCEMENT. I could ask if there is somethign truly pending..

PM me if you need that done..

[HonkyTonk]

John, I don't take it you're kidding on this one. If there's any leg work we can do for you up here, all you have to do is ask. You said at this point it's only a rumor. Keep us informed!

[John Wayne]

Originally Posted by LastLion

JW, not sure if when your saying it aint a joke or it aint a joke. I have some friends in LAW ENFORCEMENT. I could ask if there is somethign truly pending..

PM me if you need that done..

I am not joking fellers, please, if it is BS or not I need to know......

I have some friends i n the pentagon that are Heavy.......

And can answer, tomorrow.....DO IT..... if you can....

I will get back.....

[John Wayne]

I have gotten a lot of responances on this, and I wish you to know I am not worried at all guy's.....I know I am not guilty of said charges if their is any....

I had in my young life, a 40k fine for fishing violations of which were BS, got spanked on the hand, and let out of it.......

I have been VERY out spoken of Daniel Ortega in his "New, administration, and those policies of Uncle Hugo which I deplore...... ;


But Jesus Christ.....This is rediculAas..... \

If I have something comeing from Home that is not BS, I want to know about it......Pure and simple.....

ThANKS gUY'S for your help.......

[John Wayne]

What I cannot understand is this, I got an immediate response from the US Embassy, and my partners of an LLC in Texas.....

Nobody knows $hit, and I trust the Missionary and his church group of which a member is an agent of the DOJ and mentioned me by name in Miami......

4 manslaughter charges is nothing to take lightly......