Life in Nicaragua

[John Wayne]

Originally Posted by John Wayne

My children s young ***** dog....Safira......

Now I have been accused of cutting my stories off, and kinda leaving people hanging.....

But to be honest, I have not only been useing the readers of my stories on several web sites as a probe.....

One of them, I would not give a Ratts Ass, if the site lived or died.......NL,.... NOT to be confused with TRN, or GT, ....censoring of freedom of speech of friends is a No, No in my book, even if I don't agree with what they have to say....

Though mine were not, others were, and I back them, like LCT, and Jhon, .....Take that site and shove it, FYL .......

I, to find out, if there is truly interest in true adventure stories, about someone that has the A$$, to get up off the couch, turn the dam TV off, pack you a bag, fire up that one lung motorcycle, or heist the sail.....and get out in the world.....

Now these stories, that are not only informative, (because I, and others of a like mind, actually have been there, done that, and they are not, the work of a fictional creative mind) but meant to be entertaining as well.

I got to goofing around on the keyboard several years ago, and it has turned into a satisfying hobby for me.

For many that follow, you are just going to have to BUY the freaking book to hear the ending of some of them.

Shades of LL here.....

We, and Micky, Jim, Tinto, Tonk, YAK, Jhon, FAP, El G, LG, P2, Angie, Big E, Griz, SFNM, SO, and others, too many to mention here, are going to have a good 'ole SOTB (south of the border, which if I remember right, that is the Mason/Dixon line) pig pickin' one day.

As my best buddy Gaston, from Corn Island Nicaragua says in his Creole English, "If God spares simple life".

And for those that don't eat pork, we'll throw a Chicken or a few squirrels on the grill for ya.

Ain't a whole lot I can do for those vegetarians with a Gluten Free diet, and cannot even eat corn bread, or tortillas, you just going to have to graze in the yard I guess.....

Gonna have to Call Al Gore for advise on that one I reckon....

Please, nobody feel slighted........I LOVE all of my internet friends.........and I want to give you a Big 'ole Cyber Hug right now...

I sometimes tear off the last few chapters of a story, just to be a royal pain in the arse....Talking to you in particular here El D....

I wish to give special thanks to THOM, who has visited and spent time with me and my family here in Nicaragua several times, been a brother to me, and an uncle to my children, .... He made this last Christmas Truly, memorable to me and my family, and gave me this computer on which I now write...

Thank you Brother, ..... though we were born 2 weeks apart, and to different parents, we ARE Brothers, even if you do play Golf in the snow in Canada.........(to be honest, I think I would rather jerk off,..... I ain't no Golfer, Snow or not).......

I cannot imagine for the life of me, .... three days out of the year, .... with no snow on the ground.

Ok, Ok, I am getting to it, .... that is, the story about my children s dog, Safira......

Pardon me for drifting, but I do eventually get back on the subject matter.........

CRS......Can't Remember $hit.........I have to control it without drugs, but the local Nicaraguan Rum does help a bit........

Pour me something tall and strong, make it a Hurricane, before I go insane.....

Now don't let me give you the wrong impression, I am not a Dopy, but in fact a rednek, though I have smoked a ton of that left handed, home grown tobacco in my youth.

It just made me silly, hungry with the "Munchies", and horny as a three balled Cat in the nights.......

Getting back to the story line.....

Now I have spoke of "Dirty Laundry" in the past, and this comes into play.....

My neighbor here in Nicaragua, Ceferina, is about one of the most useless pieces of $hit women that God ever permitted to be born alive, she should have been born dead, or a partial birth abortion, in my humble opinion.....

You remember them birth certificates of "Live Birth"?.....

For a long time, till he was a man of 17 years, my uncle Cecil O'Neil Fordham, and wanted to volunteer for active duty by joining the Navy in WW 2, had one that stated "Baby Boy, Fordham" ... no name.....

He had to go tell the beauru of vital statistics in the county, his name to get it straightened out....

This was in the US of A.....

So anyway, my sister in law brought as a gift to my children, a female puppy.....

Now THOM had given to my children a movie about a Dragon that started with an egg, and a boy, that developed into a loving relationship as will happen between man and animals.......

The Dragons name was Safira..........

To be Continued.........F#ck you Jason.........

So my children gave that name, Safira, after the dragon in the movie, to their new pet.

Now Safira is a Miskito Dog, over the years here, the Miskito dogs have been grown/bred, to be small like our Beagles home, we use for rabbit huntin', they don't eat up their weight in groceries, but with several of them, no thief wants them on his ass, because they are quite protective of their humans....

She and Tonk (the dog we are sitting for DSB) don't bother the chickens, the Owl, the pigs, or the neighbors cows, or the children, it is the adults that come to my home that they get their hackles up on, and once called down by a member of the family they go find something else to do.

Matter of fact about 2 weeks ago one night, 'ole Tonk called my attention to a bad coral snake right up next to the house, course I got out the machete and put his life to an end for trespassing....I don't like snakes, especially bad ones, done had one of the youngins cousins bit right here in the yard......

If my memory serves me right, I have killed about 4 inside the house, and Gerold, my oldest son got one up in the attic space under the rusting zinc and above the ceiling.

All pieded up brown and black.

One, I killed here about 4 feet from where I am now sitting near the washing machine was yellow and black, they were all small, bout big around as my thumb, but less than 2 feet in length.

And one I got, that I guess I startled, in the wires over head, fell on me as I was going to take a shower, took my trusty 'ole seal skin flip flop off and gave his business end a whack with it....

I had the same thing happen in an old clap board farm house in Wayne County NC, when a small copperhead fell on me, and I gave him the shoe treatment on his business end as well.

Now going back to my 'ole Farmer Grandmothers days with this, I will get back on the Safira story in a minute, so just keep your drawers on for a bit......

My uncle Cecil when about 5 or so, grandma saw him limping about the bare dirt yard around the house, the chickens kept it clean of grass and the yard had to be sweeped with a brush broom, no fancy lawn mowers in them days......

Just had to be on the watch out not to step in a chicken turd, but in the hussle and bussle of playing with the cousins, it happened once in a while to all of us.....

Now home, all us youngins went bare foot, and have for generations, once it warmed up enough for us to kill a bumble bee, the shoes came off and were not used again unless a social engagement like Church, school, or Wednesday night pareyer meeting could not be got out of, till the frost came and killed everything green except the collards.....

Am I talking above your head here?

I believe El D, and LCT know where I am coming from....

It has got to get bitter cold to kill a collard plant where you can't eat off of them, even then, they sprout back in the spring, oooh, and them sprouts in the spring, off them old plants, sweetest greens ever been......

But they won't grow here in coastal Nicaragua, I done tried a hundred times.....

So anyway grandma, took my uncle on up to the back porch where was an old cast iron porcelain covered sink with a drain on one side and a cast iron pitcher pump mounted on the other end stood, and washed his foot off so she could see......

The two puncture wounds on his swollen foot.....

What happened here? she asked him......

An 'ole long thing came up, and bit me on the foot, was his reply......

Taint no such a thing, she said......

You was kicking at it won't you?.......

She washed it good and rubbed it down with some "Horse Liniment" she had gotten from the "Raleigh Man", and that was all the Doctoring Uncle Cecil received.....

And that old pitcher pump, and the iron water stains that kept the white porcelain sink stained rust red.....

Cold as all get out, the water was in the summer, and warm in the winter for bathing us kids, Everyone of us got that treatment when we came for a visit, unless it got bitter cold and had to heat up a pan of water on the cookstove to go with it....

And YES, LCT, it was done in one of them above ground swimming pools called a galvanized "Wash tub"

And my mother and her brothers and sisters getting together and adding on to the house "Indoor Plumbing" so the chickens could take over the old two seater outhouse about 100 feet from the house......

One day when uncle Vick brought over one of them fancy new round, hotdog and hamburger grills that had a handle on it to raise and lower the grate, and used them charcoal bricketts from out of a bag, and had to be real careful with it to keep the hamburger patties from dropping down on the coals (they weren't very well thought out with the grate)....

The Hotdogs were no problem, all you had to do was put them catty wampus on the grate, but once in a while, the outdoor Chief Boy Ardee would lose one of them too.....

Hahaha, I know most of you know what I am talking about.......

And on top of it, had a hell of a time getting the coals going with that quart can of Gulf Charcoal Lighter fluid.....

Grandma said......And I can still hear it.....

Now ain't this something?

Cooking out in the yard, and going into the house to the bathroom.........

All ya'll youngin's are getting above your rasin'......

I had the distinct pleasure of living near her for the last 5 years of her life,and seeing her on an almost daily basis, me and three other cousins helped her with the garden doing the heavy work, she taught us many of the "Old Ways" of doing things, and influenced my life greatly....

She taught Sunday School for over 60 years, and the whole county knew her as "Miss Nannie"

BTW her given name WAS, Nannie May......

She passed away at the ripe old age of 83 in 1983, and had lived thru some trying times in our country's history....

All three of her son's enlisted and went off to fight that mad man "Himmler" as she referred to Hitler....

Leaving her and her three daughters to tend that 'ole two mule tobacco farm alone, my mother being the youngest.....

After the war they all came back, as she had asked the lord to spare them if he saw fit....

And my 'ole Uncle Cecil stayed on the family farm and became a tenant farmer and tended not only the old family farm, but others on shares because of the "Industrialization of the country with machinized farm equipment made it possible do do more work with a tractor than with a pair of mules....

His older brother Uncle Edward, who when was about 10 or 12, when the old wooden clapboard homestead burned down, started throwing things out of the house to save what he could, Grandma credited him for all of them to even have a blanket to wrap up in from the cold............

Granddaddy rebuilt the house in Stone, my mother was born in the new house.......

It is standing today......

Uncle Ed had bad feet, and could not march, and would not be accepted during WW2 as a solder, but he volonteered for a support unit and cooked for them boy's involved in the close to the front line carnage of Europe,and ultimately Germany, he pulled his weight for a Total, and Complete Surrender of Germany.....

Some say that when FDR declared this, it made the Axis fight that much harder, but it did so for Our Boys and the home team as well...It turned out to be a declaration that made the USA more determined than ever to stop the $hit, hence Hiroshima and Nagasaki....

Don't tread on ME......

I am sorry the German people got behind a mad man, and he even thru intimidation and what not, made them subjective to his will with his thugs...Just as these here Islamic extremist have corrupted the word of Alla, (yes, I have been paying attention) and the moderates are to scared $hitless to speak out, or do anything about the bad conduct of part of their own......

I want a total and complete surrender NOW, to the point of Glassing all of Islam, including Kim Pong, or what ever his cornhole name is.....It ain't "Rocket Man" if that is what he thinks.....

Uncle Vick, the younger of the boy's and the better educated, wound up in administrative duties.......

But Uncle Cecil did his duty on a destroyer in the south Pacific in the Navy, living with a life jacket and a Government issued shotgun by his bunk, they gave him his choice of a firearm, he didn't want no pop pistol ( I can hear him saying this now, when I was in my 20's and he in his late 40's).....

Came back and married a local girl of 16 named Barbera Price when he was about 26 or 28 years.....Had 3 boys, my favorites of the cousins, next to Ant Bee's girls that we lived close to in Virginia, and he died an old man past 70, still together with her.....God I love her for being a good woman to a good man......

I hope, I have taken some of you down a pleasant memory lane here....

Now many people in life are a bit superstitious whether they want to admit it or not, and my 'ole farmer grandma used to tell me, son, if you dream about snakes, and you kill them in your dreams, it means you are conquering your enemies.......

I have only had a few get away from me in my dreams, the rest, I laid to rest......

So my neighbor whose name is Ceferina, and who I have written about under the chapters in My Stories entitled "Dirty Laundry" who hates my guts, because I shot one of her Rottenwiler dogs in the ass, with the blessings of the Nicaraguan National Police, and then because they said to her I had the right, the 4 dogs of more than 100 pounds each, in my homestead, terrorizing my family and killing my wife's chickens.

Caused a BIG scandle of false charges against my person, and later begged pardon in court, wanted once again to bring ME before the judge for giving my children s dog her name......

Personally I think she is as deaf as a conch, (no offense to the Key Westers) and about as smart as a rock.....

So here my children are laughing and playing with the puppy in the yard, calling her by the dragon name, Safira, and Ceferina, hearing this, gets one of her tits hung in the wringer washing machine, and a blue vainer of a hard on for my a$$ once again....

Official Notice, Senior John Wayne, come to the court and answer charges of perturbation of your neighbor.......

So here I go, very well prepared, for the defense......

Witnesses for the defense.....

One 11 year old boy, John Wayne jr.

One 10 year old girl, Xena Doris.

And a DVD Movie.......Thom, you caused this $hit, how dare you give my children such a movie for Christmas.....Wierdo...

Inside joke here......

I am laughing like hell, with tears in my eyes as I write this.......

So here comes the Day and the hour, and I am making an adventure of this for my children s sake, first time for them in court.....

They both speak very good Spanish, and English, and the Miskito Dialect, and can't nobody get anything over on them around here....

I said very little and let the judge and attorney for Ceferina ask the children questions......

The judge even plugged in the DVD and saw my childern were not lying......

The Female judge looks over at Ceferina and said......

This is the second time you have brought charges against this man on foolishness.......

IF this happens again in front of ME, I will Jail you for contempt and playing with the law and my court, Do you understand me Seniora?...

[John Wayne]

Now as this is gone over with your eyes, I guess one would ask, just what has this to do with Nicaragua?

This part of a long story that has nothing to do with the country, other than, and I will be eventually getting to it, the type of person attracted to this falling off place on the edge of the world on one side, and a tropical rain forest on the other, and nothing but wild mostly uneducated Miskito Indians in the middle...

Plenty of them can somewhat read and write thanks to the various religious organizations that have built and supplied schools in the area and out lying communities.....

But they still often revert to their passed down thru the ages, spells, potions, and superstitions to the next generation, it ain't bad really, but some of the things I think are redicuals......

Anyway here is just but one part of my journey that wound my sorry ass up living in a wooden shack with the second largest rainforrest to the west of me a bit, and to the east, the wild shallows of the Miskito Keys.....

If you find this uninteresting, don't waste your time, go one with your life.....


Capt. Hollerin' Hank Sterling

Son of Capt. Bunny Sterling.....

Now Capt, Bunny was of my dads generation, and Hollerin' Hank, his son, was of mine........

How Capt. Bunny came by that name I'll never know I guess, hell, it could have been his given name for all I know, but Bunny was by no means a puss.

They were Mayport Florida boys, as was Lloyd Saddler, another of my dads generation, and his son Johnny, of mine again......

Worked the sea for a living, off shore of Georga, and Florida...

I heard one Yankee boy one time, that came down to work with us, call us, a bunch of pussies for not going out in a Puff of wind one time.

As he threw the lines off the dock, and headed on out...He was from Gloucester Mass....Where they raised real seaman....Supposedly.....

Like in the Perfect Storm, as the US Coast guardsman stated to the pilot in the rescue helicopter in the movie, ....They are all from Gloucester aint they?....

We laughed at him.......

Oh, he had a big fine boat, but before he reached the #2 sea bouy about 6 miles or so (going on memory here) off of Cape Canaveral, a big sea lifted his bow high in the air, then it came down in the short shallow water trough, (Seas get closer together in shallow water) and the next one came over his bow, busted all the thick safety glass on the bridge, and washed him and all of his electronics down real good.....

He got what we call "Stomped" good fashion, by a "Queer" shallow water sea....

Turned around and came back to the dock with his tail tween his legs.....

I guess he will never say again, "It don't get rough in Florida, you bunch of pussies".....

Getting caught out in it is one thing, but Knowing how it is, out there in the pond, as we all affectionately call the Atlantic Ocean, and going out in it.....Dumb with capitol letters....

Now these boats were not your garden variety Yachats you see cruseing the intra coastal waters and tied up to them club docks for "Happy Hour" in the evenings, or Coastal cruses in purdy weather......

They were and are, pretty rugged son of a *****es....Made for Open Ocean..... 70 to a little over 100 feet length overall, displacement hulls with more boat in the water, than out of the water...

Bulk heads shifted around so they would not require licensed Masters....

F#ck some of us couldn't have a Drivers license, for bad conduct on land, especially the crew members....

The BEST of a Bad crowd....

The boats, bigger than the $hit pots Columbus, or Eric the Red had.....

Now Johnny would get sea sick in a puff of wind on the sea, (this puff would scare the $hit out of people that have never had "Salt" in their eyes) but do his job, after he got out of his stomach, what might hinder him.

Everyone of us, Masters of Commercial Shrimp/Scallop boats, taught by the generations before us, and tough as the square galvanized iron (not steel, just like there is a difference between "Bronze" and not brass) nails, that held the wooden boats together in them days....

The Oak trunnel fastenings went out with the entrance of the Iron age more or less.....

Spikes, or Oak wooden nails as they could be referred to, in use by man, way before Christ, that held the planking (skin) to the Ribs or frame of the boat, it was the best of materials available in those ancient times.

Tarred cotton and Oakum wedged between the planking with paint and white lead puddy to seal out the sea water to a degree.....

The first old wooden boat I ran for one of my cousins, when I was young and dumb, officially named the Caribe VI ....Affectionately known as the Cripple, must have had half of the whole Atlantic Ocean pumped out of her bilges in her life time......

I butchered a sea turtle on her her aft deck one time, and it turned the bilge water blood red.....Some of what ever came over her bow went below and got pumped out......

My cousin Eddie, the owner, God love him, later told me one time, he had fixed the leaks on the "Cripple"....

Shocked, I asked him how he did it?.........

Looking me straight in the eye, he replied.....I bought a bigger bilge pump....

With those old wooden boats, I cannot count the times I and some of the rest of us jumped overboard with mask and fins, a screw driver, and strips of an old tee shirt, or strings from a cotton mop head, to stop a leak..... in the open Ocean......even in the night, when it is sink or swim, you gonna get a wet a$$ anyway.....

Sometimes even nailing a piece of tar coated plywood over a especialy troublesome butt joint that leaked like hell when you loaded the boat with 50 tons of shell stock on her deck.

Ahhhh, the Old Cripple.... when I first took her, I asked my cousin to get me a life boat on her, my logic was, to make money, I had to push her a bit and I wasn't all that sure of her staying on top of the water, and I told him so.

Eddie came back with one of them little aluminum row skiffs with built in flotation under the bow, midship, and stern seats.....

I told him lookin' at it...I sure hate the thought of having to get in it, but WTF it was something.....

We (a fleet of 12 boats with 4 men each aboard) had left out of Caneveral one time on a lookin' spree.... went around Key West after getting drunk and showing our a$$es there, in the Bull Bar, just around a corner or two, from Sloppy Joes bar, and continued on up into the Gulf of Mexico lookin', lookin' lookin'....for the elusive Calico Scallops...

Wound up in Pensacola Florida, where we found a few Calicos offshore, and got shot at (warnings) by some of the Snapper fishermen for tearing up their artificial reefs, and in general run out of town for bad behavior on the sea and on shore....

Hey, when there is more of them than they is of you, and you in their back yard....It's time to back up a bit...

Them was Rednek Boys too.....

And most of them grew up on the water as we did, but one big difference was, they from young, grew up Oyster tonging in the local shallows.

Oyster Tongs are like long handled post hole diggers with rakes on the two sides instead of the dirt digging spades...

Most of us grew up working a "Carolina Stupid Stick" a clam rake, in our youth while going to school, and were built right fair from the waist up, but these boy's, Jesus Christ.....

They would make Arnold Icantspellhislastname in his prime, look like a "Girlie Man"

Lookin back now, I sympathize with them good 'ole Florida Pan handle boys....

They worked their ass to build them artificial reefs where silt and mans effect on his urbanization of waterfront property has caused erosion like hell and smothered natural reefs from his runoff of dirt that should have stayed back on the farm in Iowa someplace....

I asked these Good 'ole boys, to tell us where their hand made reefs were, and we would avoid them......

Uh uhhh, and a big, no can do....

Ya see, they would not even share that information with each other, the where abouts of them.

Each personally built reef about the size of a house, made of old tires cabled together, old washing machines, cars, anything junk put down on the muddy/sandy bottom, after about 2 years or so, was worth to them about 1 to 1 1/2 K a year in the Red Snapper it could naturally produce.....

I caught 5 kitchen appliances one time in one net, Kenny Jones a black captain from South Georgia brought to the surface of the water an Oldsmobile......

Boy, he made us all laugh, tellin' about it over the radio....Boy's, (that is what we called each other being from the south, when addressing the whole crowd)...Now you guy's know I am a Cadillac man, and here I go and catch a cheapa$$ Oldsmobubble...

Many years later Capt. Kenny Jones, and his crew went "Down" at sea while Rock Shrimping on the western edge of the Gulf Stream offshore of St. Augustine....

I Salute you brother....you were a hell of a man, and friend.....

Us watermen from the creeks, swamps, and rural areas had a different way of being brought up than those in the cities....They won't no hatred, a touch of envy once in a while, when one of us put it on all the rest of our asses in making a bang up trip, something to write home about.

But not one of us, would not have risked his ass in battling the elements for another one in distress...

When a man pulled his load he was excepted as one of our own, A brotherhood if you will, just disgust for the lazy men that tried to join us, and they got run.....

But Willie T. from Salter Path NC, took the cake......He brought up a whole road tractor truck.....

Needless to say we won't very popular with the locals.....nor were we happy, in tearing up gear and having to fix, what we called a F#ck up....

John Doe, (His real name) called them "Malfunctions"

And Thomas Earl Willis from Harkers Island, had a Laugh box and when one of us hit a "Hang" would play it.....Ha....haha...ha....ha...

We all looked out after each other, when one hit a hang we would notify each other, and the position for future reference, and, just in case the boat rolled over, where to look for survivors.....

Thomas Earl got caught on a good one one time and the 3/4" 6/19 strand main steel cables we used, would not bring it to the surface, or break off.....

His wench man kept pulling the boat down real deep on the hung side......

When you get on a "Hang" ya want to slack off the cables and go back the way you were coming from and see if the weight of the boat won't break her free......

If "At" don't work, then you get right over top of it and pull it down, and slack it up, and repeat the procedure till it comes free, or you lose patience with it, I have done that on a "Hang" for several hours trying save even a part of a 6K net....

Thomas Earl walked back on the aft deck and told him....."If you turn this freakin' boat over, if I live, I will make sure you drown"....

Yes once in a while we had to just cut a rig loose, and kiss it good bye......

And you know human nature, it is like I am, if it works and I see it work, I ain't gonna change, till I know better......

Now one of the ole adages of the mariner, whether you are a merchantman hauling cargo, a fisherman looking a trip of fish to pay the bills at home, or a freakin' pirate looking to pillage and plunder....

You take care of her, (The Boat) She, will take care of you....And if she has had care taken properly, she will stand more than you can, just don't push her to pounding, and beat the corkin' out of her, and break her up, or let her go on the rocks, keep some water under her and around her, and keep your eye on the "Glass", the barometer..........

Land or a reef to the Leeward can be a *******, in a puff of wind.....

In talking to the older ones laying about to the dock during a puff of wind in my youth, (wasn't no need to go out in it, just to be brutalized, better to just wait till it started playing down a bit and the glass started going up, then go on out.

Part of this was tied to the dock on Silver Lake on Oracoke Island on the outer banks of North Carolina, where Black Beard met his fate, where I learned about the "Glass" and the relations the barometric pressure was related to bad weather, and a tide clock timed to the inlet where we came and went to the Atlantic Ocean, or the "Pond" as we affectionately called it.

Getting caught out in a puff of wind is another story.....As I am sure Bikingo, and a few others know where I am coming from here.....

My Square Head father in law....(You with me here Bikingo?) as one of our conversation's went one time in the direction of Fastenings for the skin of a boat to her frame, I asked, Which is better, nails or screws?

Now the Nords had invented Open Ocean Sailing and had plundered over half the world or more, centuries before Columbus was even a gleam in his Fathers eye....

Without batting an eye responded, screwin' takes to long and lasts no longer......Once I screwed a woman to the deck of my boat and after I was finished, she got up and hobbled away.......

The Romans Nailed Christ to the cross, and he did not walk away from that.....

Now Bunny, Lloyd, and my dad had mellowed out a bit with age, but the younger generations, we were F#ck ups at times on shore because of our youth....

Jumping a bit here, in time, but I will get around to Hollerin' Hank in a minute.....Keep your drawers on.....

Now I am sure the older generation never got a wild hair up their A$$ in their youth either......NOT.....We all heard their stories too...

We mainly worked together in and out of Canaveral, but once in a while, landed product in every crack that would float a boat from Cape May New Jersey, to Texas.

Hell I have been all the way to the North East corner of Georges Bank fishin'

And way the fu#k off of NYC watching them sewer barges dumping treated crap in the sea...The chemical "Treatment" killing everything, when a raw turd would have just made the fish fatten up a bit....

Now I know my betters, with all them letters and numbers behind their names, want the tax paying populace to think in their ways of doing things is best....Like now, with what I consider the Global warming hoax.....Freaking scare tatitcs to Pay and Pay and pay....

Capt. Jim Finley, from the West coast of Florida, went to Vietnam when his high School buddy, Jook went to collage instead.....

Jook was a turd, highly educated, a salesman in the industry, and Jim, a mans man......

I will never forget his story about on patrol, and two kids on a water buffalo in a rice paddy dropped a granade on the point man killing him, and he and the rest, wasted the boy and girl and the water buffalo on "full auto" with their M 16's.....

Capt. Jim was master of the "BIG FOOT"... a nice big steel boat by Master Marine in Alabama....

I was master of the "ONA".... a tupperware tub, "Fiberglas" built in St Augustine....

Johnny Saddler, master of the "Lady Barbra" a Harkers Island wood hull....

And Hollerin Hank, Master of the ................

[Cap'n Jib]

JW,

Actually the phony legal cases make as much sense in Nicaragua as they do in the US. It just seems as soon as someone has something, another person is lined up to take it aways from them.

All in all, life in Nicaragua is not all that much different than life in Panama.

As always, enjoy your posts!

[John Wayne]

Prelude......

Now as this is gone over with your eyes, and in your mind, I guess one would ask, just what has this to do with Nicaragua, or even the Rivearia Maya?

What it is about, is the type of person that would look, and visit, these kind of places on earth, definitely not the Disney World crowd to a degree....

This is part of a long story, that has nothing to do with the country or place, other than, and I will be eventually getting to it, the type of person attracted to these falling off places on the edge of the world on one side, and a tropical rain forest on the other, or perhaps that, that mother nature has reclaimed what man built centuries ago, and nothing but wild, mostly uneducated Indians in the middle...

I did read the book "1491" that a Canadian internet, and later, a Face to Face Brother from Calgary, brought down to me on one of his several visits to me and my family here in Nicaragua.

He even gave me this Laptop computer as a gift and showed me how to work it a bit....

Plenty of the Indians in C.A. can somewhat read and write in the modern mode of man, thanks to the various religious, and Humanitarian organizations that have built and supplied schools and clinics in these areas and out lying communities.....

Some of them in the more remote areas can translate Hyroglithics, as "Commandante Rafaga" wrote in his book, "History of a Nicaraguan Contra Guerrilla" "Rafaga" Raynaldo Reyes, is a friend and family to my to my wife, as she says....Muy largo, but from the same community of Awas Tara.....(Meaning, Big Pine, in the Miskito language)

I will correct this later if you are interested, Now you know why I do not claim to be "Computer literate"....

But they still often revert to their passed down thru the ages, spells, potions, and superstitions to the next generation, it ain't bad really, but some of the things I think they pass on are redicuals......

Anyway, here is just but one part of my journey that wound my sorry ass up living in a wooden shack with the second largest intact rain Forrest in the western Hemisphere to the west of me a bit, and to the east, the wild shallows of the Miskito Keys.....

If you will look up for a moment thru the haze of the 5 o'clock Somewhere, and gaze about (hot dam, am I guilty of that)... you will find what I am pointing at, is so interesting and yet so near and doesn't take one with Ball$ of iron to go and visit even from the Mayan Riviera

But sometimes where you go, you shouldn't go alone, or even "Bare Footed"....(unarmed) in some cases, just depends how far away from civilization one feels comfortable with...

If you find this uninteresting, don't waste your time, go on with your life.....

I am sure each and everyone of you are a lot like me, if I give the impression I am bit arrogant, it is because I was raised to be a leader of men from the dredges of our society and not a follower....

I do not associate with lay abouts, or social parasites and have no use, or compassion for those that have all of their facilities, and untold opportunities, and no drive in life to better themselves no matter what station in life awaits them....

Those physically disabled or not with full mental capacity, I help on a one on one basis, even children that are disadvantaged only for economic reasons, but they need to show me some effort, if not I will surely look to help someone that is appreciative of it....

I guess it is called "Hard Love"

I would make a "Wild guess" that most all of you are "Dam Good" at what you do, and perhaps even better than I in a lot of cases in your chosen profession.....

So turn around here, those that know I am talking to you, and let me give you a pat on the back.....

Because I know you can't reach it.......

Next......more of...


Capt. Hollerin' Hank Sterling




Capt. Jim was master of the "BIG FOOT"... a nice big steel boat by Master Marine in Alabama....110 feet Length Over All (LOA)

I was master of the "ONA".... a Tupperware tub, "Fiberglas" built in St Augustine.... 96 feet LOA

Johnny Saddler, master of the "Lady Barbra" a Harkers Island wood hull....105 feet LOA




I am, for the sake of telling it like it was, from my eyes and ears at the time, and bringing it back in another day and time (present), in my minds eye and putting into print.

I might be a "Little off" but not far off....

I might get a little "Crude" here, and if you one that is offended by vulgarities, read no further......

And Hollerin Hank, Master of the SHEDONDE......96 feet LOA

It was a nice, but butt ugly steel hull built in his neck of the woods somewhere around Jacksonville Fla, proved herself not only sea worthy, but held up good under Hanks abuse......

Hell Hank was abusive to everyone, Boat included, couldn't keep a good crew for his insistent hollering and carrying on, but he did know how to "Load" the boat.....

To the dock one time one of his crew grabbed him by the throat and put him on the deck, this would not have happened on the high seas, there is an unwritten law about when the lines are throwed off the dock, the boat is under the complete command of her "Master" and no one else....

Often Captains confer with the crew for different opinions and they all come to an agreement like the a$$hole Capt., George Cloony did play in the Storm movie.....

But boy did he make a F#ck up, and he knew it when he did it, a God Dam trip of fish, is not worth all the lives and equipment including the boat throwing them in the face of a known storm......

They are all from Gloucester aint they?....

Mutiny is still not tolerated......More than likely, even get your sorry A$$ thrown overboard just talking about it.....I have heard it before, looks he went to $hit and the Hogs eat him....

Ahhhhh, and then it will be like John D. McDonalds..... "The Deep Blue Goodbye"...... or...

"Son of a Gun, Load the last Ton.....One step ahead of the jailer.....Or should I say, Davy Jones.....and his locker....

I know everyone knows about the song "From Sea to Shining Sea" and has an idea how big is the land masses of our planet Earth....

But the surface is still 7/10 's water.......Sea Water......

These were 600 to 1200 Horse Power trawlers with a fuel consumption of 20 to 40 gallons of Diesel per hour...

Hank grew up in the area, and worked with his father Capt. Bunny till they went in together and bought him the boat.

It was rumored they found a few square "Grouper" floating on the sea, and this made the down payment on the nice new boat, I could give a $hit.....

There was, once in a while, one of the crowd of us who found something either floating on the surface, or lost on the bottom.

I had "Good Luck" in this matter, I never found anything eligal, and had the temptation presented to me to deal with.....

Some got away with it, and others, got caught with a bale or two because rather than sell it for 10k per bale one time and done, wanted to sell it by the pound for more money......

It was called "Sea Weed" because everyone said it was "Nasty" when smoked.....It was kinda low on the totem pole for pot smokers, but it sold anyway....

Capt Jive, I don't remember if he was a Willis or a Gillikin, you know how us inbred redneks are, found one one time, running a boat for my cousin, it was pouring down rain, the sea was relatively calm, and Jive wore glasses thick as the bottom of Coke bottles,

At night, he saw it slide by the illumination of the boats deck lights, he was about 4 miles offshore......

Turned around and got it, and went back to the dock, and left the boat tied to the dock, and carried it back home to NC from Canaveral, and didn't come back till the money ran out....

Capt. Charlie Cartright one time, in broad daylight, just 1/2 mile off the beach found 5 bales floating together, he and his crew loaded them on the boat.

Staring down at them, thought to himself.....F#ck, this could either be a "Set up" or he was being caught in the middle of a shipment and others watching, threw the bales back overboard and went on offshore 30 miles to the grounds and went on fishing......

Poor 'ole Gasoline, as he was called, a TexMex that came to work with us, caught a small aircraft one time off of Jacksonville Fla, and it had several duffel bags of Cocaine in it, and yes, according to him there were human bones in it too.

Well, he started getting hopped up on that $hit, became an addict and eventually died of a Cocaine induced heart attack.

And yes there was some of us that got into premetadely transporting the $hit, ( Smuggling) there is a "Black Sheep" in every family I guess, just like perhaps there is no family in a first world country, somewhere, back thru the lines of recent history has not been affected by dope, or Whiskey....

A distant cousin died from it, or, was in and out of rehab, or killed somebody else.....Every family, in every economic level has a story or what ever ....

Like the Kennedy family....Bad money causes problems.....Hic... I wish now, .... Hic,... I had been driving a VolksWagon at Chappiquidick...Hic,..instead of an "Oldsmobile"....Hic.. The dam "Rocket" engine....Hic... didn't even, with the Chromealoy rings,... Hic.....Help....So that is why I voted against, and then For, ... Air Bags, Hic,... to be installed in all, .... Hic,.. cars sold in the Soviet, Ooops, Hic...States....Hic....

So Capt. Hank had developed a 25 watt voice, and could hear him cussing from a 1/2 mile away, above the Caterpillar and Detroit main engines towing the nets at 1500 RPM's......

If the sea was calm you could hear him a mile or more, everything seemed to piss him off, but he was one of us.

We accepted him for his faults, and he WAS, the first one on the spot when the "Dicky Boy" (an old Carolina wood hull boat) went down, and he picked the Capt and crew out of the water....

We all dropped what we were doing when the "Dicky Boy" put out his "Mayday" and headed for him....

It was nothing for us to in an emergency to cut off thousands of dollar trawls, mark the spot with the old "C" Lorans and run to a brother in distress, later to grappnel up the gear after the emergency was taken care of....

BTW, I cut my teeth on the old "A" LORAN' receivers (LOng Range Aid to Navagation) that were a little better than a "Sextant" in the hands of an experienced user....But they only gave you a more or less, not a definate position, like we now have with the GPS receivers...

I want to thank at this time, all those involved for, "Good 'ole American Ingenuity" that made this and many other things possible....

One January we lost 9 boats and 6 men..... in the prettiest of weather, this is when men become over confident and let their guard down.....

Bad weather everyone is jumpy and cautious.....

Next.....

C#nt splices, Finger f#ckers, Hog chokers, and more about Capt Hollerin' Hank....

[John Wayne]

Steadman Moody Sinclair....

I am one crazy *****, as he, so many times has told me....

I don't know who my father was, and I don't think my mother does either....

I perhaps in this story will use racial slurs, please do not be offended, but for the sake of being truthful....

I am going to have to tell it like it is..... I live in the real world...

Now Steadman is quite the world traveler, born in Puerto Cabezas Nicaragua, passed 15 years in LA, been to all parts of Africa, Europe, the Soviet Union, and even Texas and Alabama.....

Worked for various NGO's and is no dummy....

Loves Ronald Reagan and detests Obama....and very vocal about it....

But he has never called me "Whitey".....till today....But I still love him even though that is a fighting word amongst white Southerners by a Black man...

Normaly he just addresses me as "Red Neck" because I being from the South.

He smiled when he said it... That makes all the difference in the world.....

He is perhaps one of the most well read, ill bred, men I have known in my life, a few years younger than I, but what a head he has on his shoulders....

He is so rum soaked most of the time, that at times doesn't make any sence, but when he is half way straight, has a world of wealth in experiances to listen to...

Now Gilly, the local barber who cuts my hair and that of my two sons, is a skinny little a$$ that loves to play dominoes, as does Steadman.

One time while playing at the home of a Chino, who owns a local Discotec, the Chino's dog bit Gilly......

Chino went immeaditly to look a doctor to treat him.

In one hour, the Dog died.....

Gilly lives yet, and it is a big joke amongest us.....Poor Dog......

But now getting back to Steadman......

He is quite the A$$ when he is in his cups......Haven't we all been there, done that?

Steadman had a problem with a female police officer, seem's he did grind her, and because she was not the lay that he was expecting, and did not want to pay her for the sex....

So, ..... after the after, when he passed out, she took $60.00 out of his wallet and left his home.

John, let me tell you he said, I was one pissed off ***** the next morning......

A bad lay, and no money in my wallet, and a bit of goma (hangover).....

Steadman did hourbor bad feelings against this woman for a while, and several days later, he in his cups, and she in good shape, they did cross paths in front of Gaston's meat market......

I was not there, Gaston, DSB and Gastons wife was and saw the altercation......

Seems Steadman had a bit of rum courage in him, and started in on the woman verbaly for stealing his $60.00......

She attacked his A$$....Physacaly......

According to what I heard, it was like white on rice, news paper all over the road, black and white, like a ***** and a seagull fighting over a fishead (Steadmans words).......

She not only kicked his A$$, but made a fatal mistake....She bit a chunck out of him....

Now the next day, we did pick on Steadman's A$$ about his fight with the woman.

He told us, Look at me, there are two things in this life you can't give a *****, a black eye, and a fat lip, but she did it to me...

Look at my belly, raising up his shirt, I got a piece of my meat gone, she kicked like a mule and bit like a crockadile.......

Johnny Cash is one of his favorite country/western singers.....

And did we rag him, DSB got us all tickled to the point of crying, when he said the woman came up there in a Wheelchair before the fight started....

Steadman, said What? this ain't the first time I got my A$$ kicked by a woman, but she won't in no wheelchair, in an attempt to defend his manhood...

15 days later she died, evidently from the bite she inflected on Steadman....

These are true stories I write...

More about Steadman and his travels later....... My favorate being his trip from LA to Miami by car....

[John Wayne]

Heysuschristy, what a way to start off a story that involves a family I have married into....

Miskito Indian Redneks....

I have been brutally honest my whole life, to the point of a few , perhaps more than a few, getting a bit pi$$d with me over it......

My Moma did not raise me wrong.....

The law has always left me alone, and many times defended my sorry A$$ because I was in the right.......

Once in an entrapment situation at 17 and the other 2 times with false accusations here in Nicaragua, well perhaps 3 or 4 or 5 if you want to count commercial fishing "Alleged" violations, of which I was either found "Not Guilty" of, or given a slap on the wrist, or an Obama Lackey asst' prosecuting Attorney for the Department of Justice talking $hit about me to a couple of forighen missionaries, but has yet, after plenty of time even has the common courtesy to respond to my e-mail to him......

So I guess you could say, YES, I have been there and Done that.....

I have been cut, shot, bit, and hit, and lived to hunt again, but one of my sister in laws takes the cake......

I call her M-60, she is like a belted machine gun that won't quit...... with 10 or 12 words per second flying from that mouth, and none of them very good, and I swear to God, somebody needs to "Take her out"

And I ain't talking about no pizza parlor take out here......IMHO......

I would never do it, but I do have my feelings....

I had a situation with my present wife, her sister, that we separated for over two years, she leaving me and the 4 children of ours alone the youngest being still in the crib about seven months old.

Time heals all wounds, and we got back together and the children were estaeic...

To be continued.......

[RXD]

I have also heard much about Nicaragua. There are number of attractions and luxuries. It has second largest industry in tourism. It has strong folklore, music and religious traditions. I really enjoyed my trip of Nicaragua.