San Jose in 4 Days

[HonkyTonk]

I wasn't going to post a trip report on Costa Rica because I've seen little interest on the Board. Trip reports are what it's all about though. Few have the balls to write one. Kudos to those who do, Rick11 being the last. 2 Gringos asked so...

I needed some R&R, hadn't had a day off since last July, so headed down with another Gringo from the Board to someplace new. I just had a short time there, so this is just a thumbnail sketch. It's not a "How to Get Laid in San Jose" report, but I'll call it as I see it.

The taxi ride from the airport is about 6-8 colones or about $13-17. Very typical scenery and reminds you of Bogota/Cali/Wherever. The 8 colones was when I got stiffed on the ride bact to the airport. I made the mistake of not asking ahead of time and it was a holiday. I think it was 6 on the ride into San Jose upon arriving. Always ask before commiting to a taxi.

We stayed at the Sportsmen's Lodge in San Jose 506-221-2533. It's a 5 minute ride from the action. A gringo named Bill Alexander owns it and is really a good guy. He will help you with anything you need, and I mean anything. He's usually around too. He's definitely one of the best guys I have ever dealt with in LAm. Give his place a shot if CR is on your mind. Don't arrive without directions to his place. It's difficult to find. When you get there get several Cards from him because it has a map on the back side and that's what I'd give to the taxi drivers and still they had a hard time finding it. All I have for an address is:

From Cafe Mundo 1 block west y 25 mts. south; between av. 9 and av. 11, street 13, house 949 on Barrio Otoya, San Jose. It's well marked once in the vicinity.

The place is laid out with a big (bigger than you're thinking) sitting area square and the rooms are all around it. In this area are couches everywhere for entertaining and multiple big TV's facing in all 4 directions. Very nice. Toward the back is a bar, small cook to order restaurant, pool table, and computer for the guests. There's a lot more but you get the idea. Big TV's in every area you go in. Safe part of town and zero street noise. The streets of San Jose are not safe at night, like elsewhere in LAm.

The rooms are spartan but fine. No A/C but not needed much. I'd have liked it when things got hot but the ceiling fan did the job. No small refrigerator in the room which I would have liked. It is noisy in the hotel with simple chatter till about 12am-7am. Remember the sitting area is just feet off your door. I always travel with a small white noise machine to drown out the general LAm noise you get anywhere. I paid $55 per night. Very efficient staff and the food/drink prices reasonable. I can recommend it to anyone planning a trip to CR but have nothing else to compare it to in SJ. There's not that much difference in LAm cities as some things remain constant. This place is definitely a cut above by a long shot with a relaxed atmosphere.

At night there's a small stream of good looking latinas hanging loose and they're always welcome. Many are hookers, young, beautiful and $60 if anyone cares to know. The young ones are a pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned.

In summary you can sleep, eat, drink, watch the game, race, whatever you want on your own TV anywhere in the entire building, and get laid all without leaving the hotel. I don't want to leave the impression that this is some warf city dive. It's a very nice place in excellent shape and marble everywhere. This place is 1st class and the ladies love it for it's laid back atmosphere.

The money in CR is colones-465 per dollar. They accept dollars or colones most everywhere. Use colones to pay taxis. 500 colones for the 5min. trip to the action. DON'T WALK!!! Their coins are big enough to make a fine set of rims for your low rider [img]smile.gif[/img]

In this beautiful little park on the way to the action are a bunch of transvestites looking for sex. They will roll you and I was told do carry knives. It's hard to fool an old fool, but these guys were so good you'd almost pick one up. Don't laugh or you're the one about to be taken. The taxi stopped about 10' from one and you'd swear it was an 8. She/he was that good! The only giveaway I could see was they can't show the cleveage. 3 Ticos in a car were giving one hell. We drive a block and another red light and a babe jamming on a cell phone. I think that CAN'T be a man till the Ticos started giving her/him some ****. It really was funny. I saw only 1-ONE that I could tell was a man. They're that good. Cuidado!

There's no A/C anywhere at all that I found. With a temp. of 75 degrees in the day it's really not needed. Always breezy.

I Know, I know, what about the del Rey? It's actually a big hotel with a restaurant (if you can call it that) small bar areas with beer and soft drinks, a casino, and the tiny hard liquor bar the Blue Marlin. This is all on 1 floor and it's pretty big. The attraction? The women are all hookers. If a woman is walking with any speed, she's an employee of the hotel, all others are hookers. Every imaginable type of women from any Spanish speaking country is here and dressed to kill. You like black skin and bit tits/natural tits? 20 there for your choosing. Like petite tanned skin with natural mommy bags? 8 there. Want natural blonde hair/brown eyes? How big do you want her boobs? Ass? Want a woman with a small round ass....maybe one with 3 asses? Are you getting the picture? Every man's fantacy woman is there for his choosing....right? Well, no actually. A woman will about ***** slap you if you walk up to her and say "How much?" For the most part you have to hit on them a little, if they like you have a good time with her then do whatever. You look like stir fried **** in a cheap suit and want to get laid? Here's the place to do it.....maybe These girls are actually picky to a point. They don't work for the hotel. Prostitution is legal in CR, pimping isn't. In other words, the hotel can't charge a travellin' man or the ladies a dime or they're busted. The del Rey can charge $10 per woman for bringing the woman to your room if you're staying there. It's not a place with men drooling and hanging all over the girls. It was actually kind of relaxed with the gringos just kicking back and watching it all. I saw just one 10 there and she worked for the hotel.

This is the only place on earth where the women were groping my package and grabbing my ass. I felt so dirty They key is to check them out by sitting at a table off to the side and nursing your beer/water/coke. I drank exactly 1 beer my entire 4 days there. Look, but don't make eye contact or they'll be at your table in a heartbeat if they like your looks. Then you have to blow them off. How often has that happened in your life? In case you're wondering, the standard cost is $100 and you can spend all the time with them you'd like, but that depends on how much they like you. It's negotable but the 8's+ will walk away. Can be had for $60 but don't expect much. I did notice that the gringos who paid the price were the center of attention if they ever returned. Short change them and the word gets out and you'll be a lonely man.

Not all the hookers are lookers. Some were 4's, 2 were 1's at best. There were always 2 that hung together; bleach blonde, ugly as sin, fat cheesy guts hanging way over their tight pants, I'm talking disgusting!

The gringos It wasn't the girls that will make you feel dirty, it's the "men" that were everywhere. Hey, I'm sitting there too with a couple of buds. Maybe they thought the same about us. Here comes this tour bus and out pops about 10 of the scroungiest, fattest, sloppiest men that you could possibly imagine. These guys can't possibly get laid back home so they come to where it's easy. They looked like they havn't bathed in a week.

One thing I noticed in my 4 days in CR. I have never met more social misfits in my entire life. Didn't matter if it was back at my hotel or in the del Rey. You'd walk right by them, say "How you doin' man"? and they'd look at you like...**** off! It was everywhere! I really can't explain how someone could say Hi to someone and they just stare at you like you're some kind of alien. It's the same kind of guy who feels like king **** in CR and brags to all their friends back home of the babes they tagged in CR and have the pics to prove it. This is what made me feel dirty in CR, not the hookers.

I met some of the guys off the www.costaricaticas web site who were there just slumming and having a good time. I'm not talking about this group. Some of them were true characters [img]smile.gif[/img]

Neither here nor there:

They say it's safe to drink the water here. I did but be careful. I might effect you in a way that will spoil your fun in a NY minute.

CR is loaded with tourists and there's plenty to do in relative safety. My original plan was to see what the del Rey was all about then take a road trip from San Jose to Panama. Gringos JunFan and Jim both advised me that it couldn't be done in 4 days. They know their stuff in CR so I scratched that plan. I met a gringo living in SJ that said it's a 26 hr bus ride....1 way. Maybe some other time. That's what I really wanted to see is the gringoless backroads, but 4 days is still just 4 days.

I was really disappointed in that I heard exactly 1/2 of a song in Spanish my whole time there. It was all American music, and not even the good stuff. It is a country that caters to tourists and they want to make those tourists feel right at home. If I wanted to feel right at home, I'd stay the **** home and save the airfare! The last thing I want to do is feel at home on vacation.

The taxi drivers are a trip in themselves. One said to me "Hola gringo! I can get you anything you like; ganga, women, blow...I can get you anything you like. All you have to do is ask." He was a pretty funny dude but I think I'll pass.

I'd like to smash another myth about CR. I've heard till I'm blue in the face how most of the hookers in CR are from Colombia. Where are they? In the churches?? I asked everydamnone I talked to where she was from and the majority were from countries other than Colombia. Most are proud of their heritage and had no reason to bull**** me about it. The majority I asked were Ticas, with a sampling of every other country imaginable. Sure there were Colombianas there, but hardly the majority I've heard in the past.

I don't want this to come over as a how to sex tour. I just want to share my view in the SJ/CR scene as I saw it. I'm not into sex tours/mongering. I prefer a sweet latina date, a bottle of fine wine, and time to kick back and chill. Will I ever return to CR? Maybe. I'd do it to see the country, not the city. There is a lot to see and do in CR if you have the time.

I'm into the latin culture and that includes the music, atmosphere, ups and downs, and of course the cream of the crop latin lady. I'm a hopeless romantic. I do really prefer to wine and dine them as opposed to **** 'n run. I have lived down under in my mind since I was a kid listening to Jay and the Americans sing "Come a Little Bit Closer".

I will say this. I did have my 9 one night. She might not have been your 9, but she was for me. She was beautiful as opposed to sexy. Her smile melted my heart. I felt good around her, but it was only a passing moment in the scheme of things. I did drink only 1 beer in 4 days, but I had my special bottle of Portuguese wine back in my non A/C room which we shared while we talked. The deed is done, time for a cigarette if I still smoked, and I'm just laying there while my date snored softly. It wasn't an obnoxious snore, just the sound of someone who has been completely satisfied. I looked up at the ceiling fan going above the bed. For that moment I was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. All the frustrations back home were far from my mind. The breeze from the fan felt good and I thought about a song I've loved for over 30 years...

"Ceiling fan it stirs the air, cigar smoke does swirl, the fragerence on the pillow case, and he thinks about the girl. Spilling wine and sharing good times, she sure could make him smile, he pays her well but what the hell, he'll be moving in a little while....

Havana Daydreaming...Jimmy Buffett

If you need to get away to kick back and chill, then take what little time you have and book a flight to wherever south. It will be time well spent and the memories will last a lifetime.

Well, that's the way I saw CR in just 4 days, you might see it differently...........

[Tinto]

Good trip report Tonk. I do have to say this though...don't tease me about that sweet old lady in Jardin and I won't mention your Tica/o transvestites. Deal? jejeje

To add a little more information on Costa Rica I can include a ten day trip I had there a few years back if anyone is interetsed.

[murpho]

Nice trip report Tonk. You should have helped out the TV's though, you know a girl, er guy's gotta eat. (Pun intended) I had heard that it had been overrun by fat gringo tourists, that's a shame that it's true. I have a friend that has been wanting to go deep sea fishing down there and trying to get me to go. Sounds like there is plenty of fishing when your not fishing

[muhammadblack]

Man. that was a good report. Which airline did u use

[STM]

Nice trip report.

I think Junfan went to the coast area of Costa Rica, because San Jose is inland??.

The coast area is more resort vacation area.

[TheBatmanDude]

I've done CR twice, both times were great. I stayed the first time at the President Hotel, which is the main monger joint, then at the Amon Plaza, much classier. Each time, picked out a girl from the Del rey who i partied with numerous times. First lady was a Colombian, the second a Tica. The del ray is truly a sex supermarket. You have to see it to believe it. I ignore the other gringos and focus on the babes. I don't let them bother me.

[HonkyTonk]

Tinto, you've got nothing on me. I asked you for contact on that little old lady from Jardin. You didn't come thru, did a Google search, and found her, flew her to SJ, and the rest is history. She was my 9 in the post above [img]smile.gif[/img]

I think some of the misfit gringos I met there would have to use the transvestites as their only resort if they have any desire for sex.

In the del Rey are pics all over the walls of giant Marlins and smiling gringos. Told my buddy I could make a fortune with a lifesize pic with an ocean background, boat and big hanging Marlin. Just stand in front of it and Voila! Instant proof for your wife back home that you went sport fishing in CR. My guess is that many of the gringos playing there are married. One admitted to it and he was a major player in that scene. Kind of sad, but I don't know his situation so I won't cast stones. It's his life.

I flew Delta direct Atlanta-San Jose.

JunFan wrote he went to the Pacific coast awhile back. He said it was nice but the beaches had course sand and shells so most wore shoes.

Something else I noticed in the del Rey. There's so many fine looking women with drastically different mixes and looks but all dressed to the max. Jeans were the mode of dress with a few skirts. I didn't see any of the stretch pants they look so good in. One that knocks my eyes out didn't get a 2nd look from my buddy. One knocks his eyes out doesn't do anything for me. We had totally different tastes in women both looks and personalities. With such a large sampling of fine women, it was easy to pick them apart but also easy to see many that make you drool. I never tire of looking at beautiful women but in there it was so laid back. Much more time is spent having a good times with good friends than being hustled by the action. It's like watching the Super Bowl. When the time comes it's nice to get up for a few beers, you choose the timing. Most of the gringos were just there having a good time, then they'd get up for "a few beers".

If in CR at least experience the del Rey. You don't need to take one home. It's a good place to chill. Now I know what it's all about. Been there, but would experiemce the countryside if I ever go back. I'm trying to find a travelling buddy who might want to rent a motorcycle and do it that way. They do rent Harleys in many LAm cities, including SJ. Sorry, no fat ass tire bikes I know of, but an internet search might find some where available. That service is obviously not available in Colombia.

BM, the gringos never bothered me at all. It was just an observation. I enjoy people watching anywhere. Watching the interaction at the del Rey was interesting. Most people don't notice the little things that catch my eye. Kind of like up here, I can see a couple that appears to have been married many years at a restaurant table. They eat their meal in total silence. They've come to a point in their lives where they have nothing to say to each other. That is sad. I notice these same small things everywhere I go in LAm, just different things.

On the plane ride home I was spent. I went 2 nights without any real sleep, not by choice but because of a nerve problem I'm having in my neck that might require surgery I get the window seat and sit next to the most talkative old man from Cincinatti I have ever met. His wife of many years was quite pleasant and tolerated the non stop talking about everything. I liked the guy but was trying to catch a few zzzzzz's and felt like hell. He'd start talking to me even when my eyes were closed and drifting off. I see the wife, sitting next to me, sleeping with her head on his shoulder. I look down and they're holding hands. I'm telling you Gringos, that's a rare site anymore! He told me everywhere they went touring CR, everything in detail... for 30 solid minutes. Sounded like a cool place to travel the countryside. He said "What did you do there??" I smiled and shook my head and said "You don't want to know"

They really were a nice couple.

[muhammadblack]

Honkytonk, Do you speak fluent spanish? What in your opinion could a non spanish speaking gringo expect there?

[HonkyTonk]

MB, No I wish I did because I'd have 10x the fun down there if I did. My problem is I've always gotten by with what I had, but with each trip I leave thinking how much better if I was fluent. I keep saying tomorrow I'm going to start formal Spanish lessons and undo all the wrong stuff I've talked for years. Well, tomorrow never comes....

It is time to finally do something about it. I have more time on my hands than I've had the last 10 years.

You're going to be frustrated if you can't speak any at all. Contrary to what others have said, I found relatively little English spoken in SJ. Of course much more than the other LAm countries I've been to, but still little overall. I'm talking mainly taxi drivers and the girls you want to meet. Restaurants too.

Now picture this. You're a Japaneese tourist in Disney World with 7 cameras, 2 videos cameras, 1 tri-pod, 3 iPods, a 50" Plasma wide screen, a boat anchor, and 2 scud missles hanging from your neck. You have a hard on for gringas and there's thousands of them there. You're an outgoing guy so you walk up to the first blonde haired, round ass gringa that smiles at you. She winks at you and says:

"You're kinda cute. I like your smile. I can shake my parents later. Would you like me to come to your place later for a couple drinks? Hmmmm??"

All you'd hear is: "Mslty hhwyetrwokq. Mmmwwklpeyt jsnel cuie. T hwo sjewoemr mewot parkends murma. Tirythskfht ot toth odkehtn? hmmmmm??

Now what are you going to do....grunt at her? That's what you'll feel like down there. Less so in CR than any other LAm country, but still like a fish out of water.

I'm just being straight. Before I went on my 1st trip I took a conversational Spanish course. It helped. It's amazing how fast a man can learn Spanish when so much is at stake.

I'd still make the trip though. I can assure you, when you get back you'll be learning Spanish and planning your return trip, a wiser man.

Tomorrow I'm calling that local dude who comes right to my house and will push me to learn the language correctly. Tomorrow.......

[Tinto]

Tonk,

I'm seeing some chinks in that armor of yours post #1454. It's super easy learning Spanish the conversational way like you suggested. Just go to www.limeware.com download their free program then search for Pimsleur Spanish 1 and download the first 30 lessons that are about thirty minutes each.

Snag one of those iPods off that Japanese tourist and transfer those lessons to it and you can take them wherever you go. The best deal about all this is that it's F-R-E-E!!! You save a few hundred dollars for each series of Pimsleur's lessons you download. You'd think I own stock in the company.

Thirty minutes a day will get you conversation in no time, like...¿Hola mi amor, irá yo vino y baile contigo esta noche?

Claro?