Kind of Nervous for a big commitment

I have been married to my Brazilian husband for 6 years now and we have a two year old son. My husband is from Vila Velha, Espirito Santo. Which is a beautiful place, I love the beach and the people. I am very close to his family there and some friends. We currently visit once a year for a couple weeks, I also stayed in Brazil for 5 months a couple years ago while my husband was stuck there waiting for further immigration approval.

The five month stay was very straining on our marriage, the stress of not knowing if he was going to be able to come home, me anitially not having any close ties to people beyond my husband left me feeling very confined and sheltered not to mention my portuguese was non existent . Also we didn't have a computer and I had to rely on a few phone cards my mom would buy in order to maintain some sort of relationship with family and friends back home.

Now a few years have passed we've been living back in Massachusetts and its a struggle. My husband has a hard time finding a job, I work full time but after daycare and health insurance its piont less. The economy is so bad and getting worse and gas prices are rediculouse..... So I actually brought up the idea of us moving back to brazil.

My husband is financially stable there now, we would own our own house, he owns a business there, and life is easier. I want to have another child but I hate the idea of putting my children in daycare all day and in brazil I would be able to be a stay at home mom. I also just looked at transfering to bunker hill community college because I would be able to continue all my school plans online.
I am also happy with the fact I would be traveling with my computer so i will be able to maintain my relationships through myspace/facebook, the same as I do now.

All and All it sounds like a perfect plan....Except, my mom is very sad about not being close to her grandchildren, and I will miss my family.

Last time there was no planning our long trip so it was easier to jump on the plane, this time we want to settle everything before we go which leaves alot of time for hesitation.

Any advise or experiences?

[SEDONA7]

For what it's worth, most everything we do in our lives has some sort of sacrifice.
It is normal for your mother to feel the way she does, but from what you have described, the overall well being of your family would be enhanced trememdously.


Is the option to have your mother move to Brazil with you a possibility ???
Do what is best for you and your family.

Good luck.

[LastLion]

Originally Posted by SEDONA7

For what it's worth, most everything we do in our lives has some sort of sacrifice.
It is normal for your mother to feel the way she does, but from what you have described, the overall well being of your family would be enhanced trememdously.


Is the option to have your mother move to Brazil with you a possibility ???
Do what is best for you and your family.

Good luck.

Sedona, exactly what I was thinking, bring mom or have her come on extended stays!! Also what an experience you will have and be able to give your children!!!!!!!!!

My friends who were raised in more than one country, seam very well adjusted believe it or not and seam to be able ti fit into any situacion!

mis dos centazvos

[Cap'n Jib]

T4C,

Welcome to the board!

First, I would like to thank you for the ‘different’ perspective. Something like looking through binoculars from the other side.

One of the difficulties we men have in looking at things is the so called role model that has been set out for us men to follow. IE. Taking for granted that a woman will NATURALLY follow the guy anywhere anytime type of thing. Confusing at best and disastrous at worst.

Look forward to your views and opinions. I am sure there is much I can learn!

[AltoHombre]

Ok, so clearly Brasil is a bit on the far side, but really these days, at least for the moment, travel isn't that big a hurdle. Would you morther feel much different if you and your husband moved to California? Probably she would feel you are a bit safer, but it would still be a big distance.

Use the internet, make sure you have a web cam, then work the details. Her concerns are not unreasonable, but they are not the only concerns in the equation.


Tony