An Anniversary Celebrated

[Cap'n Jib]

On May 11th, the wife and I talked about our first meeting each other on May 12, both a l-o-o-o-o-o-g and short, 4 years ago.

The vets already know that a Columbiana lives and breaths special days such as anniversaries. Of course other events include, but are not limited to, getting her first traffic ticket, walking across a street in Bogotá without having to dodge a taxi, the day she ‘found’ those cute pair of pink shoes….you remember them don’t you? (Yes Dear!), experiencing the one clear day Bogotá has per year and/or the day she got a run in her nylons.

So I was trying to come up with something special and different to celebrate the event. Flowers (?)…been there, done that. Dinner out (?)…ditto. No! It needed to be something REALLY special….something she would always remember. The answer came to me at 12:22 am on the 12th.

So I said, “¿Mi amor.... por qué no nosotros obtenemos a su prima fuera de cárcel?” For those of you guys who think I do not know how to please a woman….you just might learn something.

We had just spent 5 hours plus, waiting at the bus terminal in David (Panama) for the wife’s prima to arrive by bus. Being her first time to Panama, la prima wanted to explore and savor the experience. Being a Latina (and therefore probably born on a bus) she decided to forgo the short 55 minute flight from Panama City to David, and instead elected to take the leisurely 6 hour bus ride to see the country…..ah those Columbianas.

We waited…and waited…and waited. The Mrs. was getting anxious…like real anxious.

The bus company kept saying she would be on the next bus. A couple of hours later they decided to look into their computer…great wonder of wonders la Prima was not listed as a passenger. We checked the other terminal in town and received the same answer. H-m-m-m-m.

The bus terminal security guard was extremely helpful and after a while called the police. The police were also helpful and called the check point at El Jagua and was told la Prima was ‘taken’ back to Panama City either the Policia National or Immigration. Definitely not good! The local police officer could not get any more information from the check point. Then wishing us luck, drove off only to return about 20 minutes later. He had the idea to call his boss and ask why la Prima was taken back to Panama City, a 5 hour trip, when it was normal to take ,I hesitate to use the word…prisoners, to David only an hour away. Good question! He drove off again. This time returning 40 minutes later.

His boss said to get as much information from us and then to try to get more information from the ‘boys’ at the check point. This time when he called they said they had no ‘actual’ record of her by name but she was definitely being taken back to Panama City. @k$jkd^h4lk6!

I had, for me anyway, a half way decent idea and had the Mrs. called one of the criminal attorneys, who attended our wedding (you’d think getting married was a crime or something in Panama). His cell number just happened to be saved in our cell phone (a coincidence you think?) even though we haven’t talked in over a year. Time check 11:55 pm on the 11th.

After explaining the situation, the attorney said he would call us right back. Fifteen minutes later he did. He had also called the check point only to get the same information or lack there of.

While actually being a mild mannered and affable guy (and a bragger I might add….but you are probably ahead of me on that), I can, on occasion, be as short tempered and pissed-off as the next guy. In fact, if adequately provoked, I WILL piss on the next guy.

No record of her getting on a bus and no record of her at the Check Point... NO WAY!

“¿Mi amor.... por qué no nosotros obtenemos a su prima fuera de cárcel?”

With the six year old asleep in the back, we set off for the check point at El Jagua at 12:22am on the 12th. I wanted information. Who knows, maybe I'd even get the truth.


To be continued……

A criminal ALWAYS returns to the scene of the crime……and I did!

[Micky10]

Cn'J -

1. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Please get on with the story, today is the 18th, you probably know that, marking the days on your cell wall.

Love - Micky

[Cap'n Jib]

la fase dos

While on the way to the check point at El Jagua, about an 80 minute drive, the Mrs. spent most of her time on the phone. She called our ‘family taxi driver’ in Panama City. His job was to get la Prima from point “A” to point “B” without so much as getting one of Prima(donnas) feathers ruffled. By family taxi driver, I mean that he and his family have spent a few weekends at out houses and is definitely a real part of our family. He told us that he went into the bus terminal, with la Prima, and bought the bus ticket himself. He purchasedthe ticket using her passport for the booking information. I would not have expected anything else from him. So no idea WHY la Prima’s name did not show up on the bus companies computer.

Now it just so happens that we have a mutual friend at Immigration, so our family taxi driver offered to call him at 1am in the morning. The Immigration friend said that he would go in early and look for la Prima's name on the ‘booking’ records. Well at least one possibility taken care of.

Because of our call to the family taxi driver, his wife was also awakened. She jumped into action and started calling those she knew that might be of assistance…it just so happens that she has a contract as an inspector at the Polica National….we had forgotten about that. Second, possibility taken care of.

As we arrived at El Jagua, I offered suggestions to the wife as to how to obtain information with the Policia When dealing with bureaucratic types, it is often best to use the ‘we are all a little bit pregnant approach’ which boils down to a simple question…”If you were me, what would you do next?”

A note here, using the old Russian saying, this was about as intelligent as ‘telling your grandmother how to suck eggs' (a practice used in order to empty the egg that is to be used for an Easter Egg) so this was probably a stupid idea. My wife is an expert at judo although she has NEVER taken up the sport. She simply allows the other person to use their strength and she takes that advantage of commitment and uses it against who ever….makes for an interesting marriage but I digress.

When we arrived at El Jagua, I chose to stay in the car with the asleep 6 year old. I chose this course of action because, one, my wife, for some reason, speaks Spanish better than I do. Two, there was no way in hell she was going to let ME be in charge of ‘saving’ her Prima…a mother lioness type of thing. And last but not least, reason three, this was the exact location where I ran into a little problem when I first arrived in Panama. Don’t understand it all, but it involved some petty thing like ‘Grand Theft Auto’.

As the rest of the drama progressed during the evening…er…morning, I watched in amazement. The Mrs. is definitely a woman through and through. First, one cop ‘explained’ the situation…as he understood it, but the Mrs. wasn’t accepting any of it. El Jefe was called in and he tried to ‘blow some smoke up', well you get the idea. At this point a third cop got into the conversation and reminded his boss “she, la Prima was the very pretty Colombiana”. At this point, El Jefe would probably have reassigned this knothead to the most remote location possible. Unfortunately, they both were already working there.

El Jefe, did allow that la Prima was not ‘actually or technically’ in custody but was ‘asked’ to return to Panama City (by another bus) for her own well being. Were her papers in order? “Of Course!” More blowing of bureaucratic smoke up the ass.


The wife paced back and forth and asked him what should she do? El Jefe told her it was out of his hands. Not the right answer! This was just what she was waiting for. The Mrs. called the criminal attorney who asked to speak to El Jefe. A ‘sea change’ takes place and El Jefe is “muy amable”.

Jefe borrows our cell and calls his cohorts in various locations trying to track la Prima down. Well that was at least a start.

He repeats his smoke up the ass ‘reasons’ for sending la Prima back. One, she did not have our cell phone number and therefore her destination could not be verified . Two, she is Colombian. Three, she could get kidnapped and forced into ‘white (sexual) slavery’. Four, she is Colombian. Five, she was traveling alone. Six, she is Colombian. Seven, she is a beautiful woman and needs to be careful. Eight, she is Colombian. By now you are getting the drift. All this was for her OWN good you understand. La Prima had explained that we were waiting for her at the bus terminal….so what? She explains that she works for the Bogotá Policia (she does)…nada. And on, and on.

On the way back, we get a call from the attorney saying he remembered his friend was in charge of security at the bus terminal and would have his guards check all incoming busses for la Prima and to give her our phone number. (A thankless job for the poor guards…having to check busses for young women. A tip of the hat to these gallant lads!).
.
La Prima calls and we get her situated for what remains of the night….er…morning.

The attorney calls the next morning at 9:30am to tell us he has just met with the Deputy Director of Immigration over the matter. He is considering filing a formal complaint!

We now get a call from her parents asking us why la Prima hasn’t called. And on…and on.

La Prima finally arrives by plane at 5pm on the 12th. One look at her smile, she is always smiling, and the ordeal was worth it. For a 28 year old woman, she has remarkable composure and is just a blast to be with.

A day later, I asked if I could take her picture and she obliged. I took a number of them and told her that they just didn’t capture her real essence. I then asked her permission and tied both her hands with electrical tie wraps and took a number of photos with her hands tied. She just beamed!

[LastLion]

Damn, Cap'n talk about countrismmmmm. Not sure if there is a word for it.. I guess that old Darrien Gap, is bigger than a whole ocean.. Worlds apart ..

Glad you all found her,, although I guess I didnt get the tying up of the hands with electrical tape,, maybe the local authorities were thinking of her safety, before sending her your way..

SOunds like they already got a rap sheet on you.. That;s cool, a couple years in Panama and Jib already has a criminal lawyer, an inspector friend, a taxi man in the family and knows all the bus stops between his house and PANAMA CIUDAD..

Damn for a quiet sofisticated captain, you really seam to let adventure find you ,, no need to buy the adventure package at Cpn Jibs house, it comes with the territory..

[HonkyTonk]

Great story Jib!! I thought this was just another day in the life in LAm...

[John Wayne]

All I can say is "Welcome to paradise"..... Great way pf putting it...You are talented...

[Cubafro]

Love your story Capn'Jib ; this is unfortunately what happen in paradise. It remind me of what happened to me in DR over the mess I had lazy ass bureaucrates or should I say lzy *******s or expert thief or whatever you know what I mean.
Glad she is in one piece, at least until she let you take pictures of her ..Are you GA jajajajajajajajaja
Be good Cap and now I know who to go see when I will be in Panama as adventure comes to me too

Cuba

[Cap'n Jib]

A Funny thing happened on the way to Paradise.

First, on having a few contacts here in Panama, it is not what one MIGHT think. While yes, they may be individuals who can assist, I have ONLY availed myself of their help this once. Someone (a relative) apparently ‘disappearing’ was an emergency as far as I was concerned. I make no apologies for asking anyone for help in this circumstance.

Second, I ‘play’ the game a bit differently here in LA. I don’t ask for ‘special’ favors even if I might suffer financially by not asking. For example, ‘A funny thing happened on the way to Paradise’….I was allowed a try it out for a while, but apparently not spend the rest of my life in here.

It seems after three plus years of living here, building two homes, and other investments in Panama, my (family’s) permanent residency visa has been rejected….yet again. The reasons are many and varied. That is the way things work with a bureaucratic government entity. Having gone through six attorneys, all of whom stated there would not be a problem concerning the visa, I have come to the realization that arbitrary and capricious would be good things.

So, we have another year to appeal. Then go back to tourist status. The major problem for me, is two of the family, are Colombians. While I can keep renewing my tourist visa every three months, they MUST leave the country every 30 days, for three days time and then get another 30 tourist visa. In 18 months prior to getting a temporary (construction) visa, I booked $22,500 in air fares. Not any way to ‘run a railroad’ nor maintain a family relationship.

Also because the child was not adopted by me, according to the rules, I can not provide for her support. The wife, although legal guardian of the kid, also can not provide for the child, according to the regulations, as I am the source of maintenance of the wife.

The kid, a six year old, will have to apply for a student visa (until the age of 18) and then get her residency visa that way. Under the regulations, a student does not have to provide means of support…just acceptance to a qualified school in Panama. Hey, I ain’t the one making these things up.

Finally, a bit of belligerence on my part. Those who know me might find it difficult to believe that I could have such a trait….trust me on this one. After the goal posts (residency requirements) being moved a couple of time since I arrived, I no longer care what they might do. I find it personally offensive, to have someone who might never earn $350k in their life time, tell me HOW I should ‘invest’ $350k in Panama….AGAIN! Those that can DO (earn), those that can’t, tell others how it needs to be done.

The Mrs. has already looked in to the mater. Being married to a Columbiana, all I need to do is apply for residency in Colombia and will be given a yes or no answer in three days. If yes, then it takes 20 additional days to get the final paper work. No attorneys are necessary. Is this correct? Don’t personally know at this point, but her sister married a Frenchman and that is exactly how the process went for them. So we have a ‘Plan B’.

[HonkyTonk]

Jib, I hate to hear that! I hope eventually it all gets ironed out.

"After the goal posts (residency requirements) being moved a couple of time since I arrived..."

Who knows what goes thru a bureaucrat's mind...

[LastLion]

Damn your wife and step daughter have to leave the country every 30 days for 3 days, and you have been doing this for 3 years now..

I guess that works for you, you seam to be able to adapt to many situations.

I would move to colombia, panama is ok, but I prefer colombia way more unless you live on the beach, which I am taking it you do not....